TALLY HO! An upper-crust madam today tells the everyday story of country folk who like to saddle up and go for a ride . . . with the girls in her brothel.
She laid bare the kinky bottom-whipping secrets of her clients after being snubbed by their snooty wives.
They were convinced convent-educated Becky Adams was just another rich foxhunting yahoo like them.
But the truth was exposed when she took part in a Calendar Girls-style photo-shoot they'd organised to help a village charity.
"Someone recognised me when the first calendars were sent out. The fact I ran a massage parlour spread like wildfire," sighs well-spoken Becky, 37, who was Miss April.
"Now the women I rode with are on their high horses and shunning me as if I'm dirt.
"Well, I've got news for them. The mares slagging me off are the type of women whose rich husbands come to my brothel."
Stud owners, farriers, farmers, company bosses and magistrates throughout the Buckinghamshire stockbroker belt park up their Range Rovers and queue for the delights of Becky's girls.
The cast includes:
MILLIONAIRE who wants to be a horse: "He wears a saddle, bridle and plastic ears and comes to me for pony training," says Becky. "I wear jodhpurs, boots, hat and spurs. I set up a showjumping course and he trots over the jumps while I shout giddyup at him and whip his bottom.
"It costs £120 but if he gets a clear round he gets a rosette!"
STUD OWNER who thinks he's a leopard: "He dresses in a leopardskin and gets on all fours while the girls stroke him," says Becky. "Then one pretends to be a vet and takes his temperature with a thermometer.
"I saw him with his posh wife at the county show. The blood drained from his face when I winked at him."
FARRIER who loves being a polo pony: "He likes girls to dress up in jodhpurs and breeches and ride topless on his back," says Becky. "He trots around on one hand and both knees pleasuring himself. He never wants full sex."
STINKING rich farmer: "He comes straight from working on his land to monthly parties we arrange at a country house. He smells of manure so much we make him have a bath before he can touch the girls.
"There's usually him and 11 others involved in either farming or foxhunting, all wearing wellies and caps.
"We charge them £175 each for the afternoon where they just pile in or watch each other having sex. Then they dash home to their wives."
MAGISTRATE who wears stockings under his suit: "They were black and lacy—and he wore them while he had sex with his favourite girl at £80 for half an hour," says Becky.
Terrified
"She couldn't believe her luck when she landed in court for shoplifting. The stockings man was on the bench. He looked terrified—and she got off."
Becky has even sat next to a client and his unsuspecting wife at a Tory party ball. "He couldn't wait to leave—and he never came back to the brothel," she says.
But now Becky has had to shut her parlour, Kittens, in Milton Keynes because of the uproar—and she's taken her horse Nelly out of the stables at nearby Great Brickhill.
"I had to take my horse away because they got so angry in the village," she says. "They're all acting horrified but I never lied about my job. They just presumed I was a businesswoman.
"I can't believe they are being so prudish—because I know how the rich spend their spare time—and it isn't drinking tea!"
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