Ready, get sexed, GO!

By Anna Magee, 14/02/2010

Sex drive done a runner?

Very once in a while you can't get enough of your man, but more often than not you'd rather veg out on the sofa than get busy between the sheets sound familiar? You're not alone. Figures show 30 per cent of women suffer from a lack of sex drive*, but even the sexperts don't quite know why.

"Most women get a surge of libido around the time they're ovulating, when testosterone strikes, while others say they feel sexier around their period," says sex therapist Dr Laura Berman. "But there's no such thing as 'normal'."

So if you want to turn up the heat in the bedroom, we've got the six sexiest ways.

73% of Brits are too tired to have sex**

Up your O-factor

Next time you're nearing orgasm, Dr Lisa Turner - the UK's top climax coach - suggests you stop. "I train clients to delay their orgasms," she says. "When you do finally let go, the result is mind-blowing."

Try it When you're about to orgasm, take a few deep breaths and squeeze your pelvic floor muscles (the ones that stretch from your pelvic bone to your tail bone) for a few seconds. "As you do that, imagine the arousal moving all the way up your body," says Dr Turner. "Delay your orgasm once or twice at first, working up to seven times then go for it!"

You can even become a sexpert at one of Dr Turner's workshops. Call 0845 468 1508 for details.

Get the Viagra effect

Viagra (literally) ups the bedroom ante by increasing blood flow to men's genitals - an effect that you can create by applying an amino acid called L-arginine to your intimate areas, increasing your sensitivity and the intensity of your orgasm.

Try it Durex Play O is our favourite of all the new L-arginine super-gels that have launched recently. It comes in a stylish bottle and a little bit goes a long way! In trials, 79 per cent of women using Durex Play O achieved orgasm. Nab yours for £14.99 at Boots - cheap thrills!

Tone for total bliss

Doctors recommend we keep our pelvic floor muscles toned, as they're essential for childbirth and a satisfying sex life. "Keeping these muscles strong and toned helps you to feel greater pleasure during sex," says Gill Brook, a women's health physiotherapist.

Try it The Athena Toner (£224.25 from Athenafem.co.uk) improves the pelvic floor within a month by contracting and relaxing. Sound scary? Gill suggests 10 pelvic squeezes three times a day: "Imagine you're holding in a wee - for up to 10 seconds.

44% of women enjoy sex less after having a baby***

The natural love drug

You probably don't need us to tell you that stress is the biggest sex-drive killer of them all. But you don't have to take it, well, lying down.

"The stress hormone, cortisol, dampens sexual desire because it prevents our 'feel good' brain chemicals - which are essential for a healthy libido - from working as they should," says clinical nutritionist Naomi Beinart. "The herb rhodiola rosea can improve our body's resistance to stress and reduce levels of libido-dampening cortisol in the body."

Try it Fast-acting Magnolia Rhodiola Complex by Lifetime Vitamins (£22.50 for 60 capsules from Victoriahealth.com) is great for combating stress.

Pump up your passion

Testosterone can boost female libido. A prescription-only patch is available, but be warned, this has been linked with breast cancer and adverse side effects, so it's not really advisable unless your GP recommends it.

Instead, turn up testosterone levels naturally by increasing muscle, which "naturally boosts the testosterone hormone and, in turn, desire", says Dr Berman.

Try it Resistance training strengthens muscle tone so try a spot of military training - which is a lot more fun than slogging away at the gym. Check out The Official British Army Fitness Guide by fitness expert Sam Murphy for more tips.

Forget the rabbit, buy a mouse

Lack of arousal can suck - so turn this into a positive. "Women can benefit from suction therapy, which helps increase arousal through manual stimulation of the clitoris," says clinical psychosexual therapist Mary Clegg.

Try it Eros Therapy is a suction-based vacuum pump for the clitoris that's been dubbed the "Magic Mouse" because it looks much like the mouse you use on your PC - just don't get the two mixed up!

Use it for 10 minutes a night and within a few weeks your ability to become aroused should improve. Result! Get yours for £199.95 at Beecourse.com.

Test - What’s your sex-by date?

Super-charge your love life’s shelf life with these bedroom-boosting tips

By Alice Wignall , 04/07/2010

Section A

1. When you have a row with your partner, you tend to think:

• I wish I hadn't opened my mouth

• We'll talk it through once we've calmed down

• I haven't got time for this - there are too many more important things to be doing!

2. This year, your holiday plans are:

• You've thought about Malaysia, but will probably stick to Spain

• Non-existent. You've been too busy to arrange anything

• Something new - maybe an activity holiday like rock climbing or scuba-diving

3. How far ahead do you plan your social life?

• A week ahead - I need to schedule in friends, family and the odd day trip

• Three weeks - I would really hate to double-book and let someone down

• On a night-by-night basis - my social life is my life

4. What's your attitude to going to the gym?

• My membership gets a twice-weekly workout

• Jim, who's he?

• What's the point? There's no way I'm ever going to be a match for the skinny girl working out on the StairMaster

5. This summer, you're planning on hitting the beach in:

• Industrial underwiring - erm, how on earth did those extra pounds get there?

• A floaty kaftan. I'd hate to think of people staring at any of my wobbly bits

• Last year's faithful bikini once again - there's life in the old girl yet and it still fits fine

Section B

Tick the phrases that most apply to you:

• I try hard not to get too tired, whatever I'm doing

• If I wasn't enjoying myself in bed, I'd fake an orgasm to get it over with

• I wouldn't rule out taking medication for low moods

• I find that I have a tendency to put others before myself

• My man and I share the housework

• I feel stressed most of the time

• I can touch my toes without difficulty

• I can't remember the last time I tried out a new recipe

• I find it hard to forget critical comments that others make

If you ticked mostly red:

You're racing to the finishing line

There won't be anything wrong with your body in your 50s and 60s - it's upstairs, not downstairs, that's the problem. If low self-esteem is making you a turn-the-light-off girl now (you're not alone - according to a recent survey, 64 per cent of couples make love in the dark*), in the future these fears may make your love life shudder to a stop, not a climax. "Mental health plays a huge part in how much sex you have," says Harley Street doctor Hiten Patel. "This is true especially as you hit the menopause (which UK women do at 52, on average) when levels of libido-raising oestrogen fall." But even before the menopause, research has found that the less attractive you feel now, compared to how you viewed yourself 10 years ago, the more likely you are to shun sex**.

Bonk out, don't conk out! Get some PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) and it'll soon become Please More Action! "Doing an activity that boosts assertiveness, like drama or a dance class, will boost your self-worth," says psychologist Dr Petra Boynton. And don't rule out counselling. Of couples who had relationship counselling with Relate (Relate.org.uk), 90 per cent reported feeling more confident.

If you ticked mostly green:

You'll run out of sex steam

While slotting sex into your life isn't so much of a problem now, it could soon become one if you don't focus on your wellbeing. The British Medical Journal report found that healthy people's sex lives lasted around six years longer than those of unhealthy people. Plus, one in three people admit cutting a sex session short because they were too tired*. Medication for depression and high blood pressure, plus conditions such as diabetes, can affect your orgasm and your man's erections. Keep on at this pace and aching muscles could soon be the only stiff thing in your bed!

Bonk out, don't conk out! "Finding time to exercise might be tricky with a busy schedule, but it will help your body act younger for longer," says Dr Patel. And biologist Phillip Whitten found that 60 year olds who swim regularly have as much sex as people 20 years younger. "Thirty minutes of cardiovascular exercise three times a week will make a difference," says Bupa's Dr Katrina Herren. Weight loss can help, too. In a study of overweight women in their 40s, 75 per cent had sexual problems but found that losing 10 per cent of their body weight boosted their bedroom behaviour***.

If you ticked mostly blue:

You're a long-distance lover

Woah - how did you take time out from between the sheets to even read this quiz? A healthy body, an upbeat outlook and a taste for the, erm, more adventurous positions mean your sex life isn't just great now - it's likely to stay so well into old age. Keep it up by exercising, eating healthily and bigging yourself up. "Women I've worked with who are confident enough to ask for help in their lives - be it at work, with housework and childcare - and who make time to rest, all report more satisfying sex lives," says Dr Petra Boynton.

Bonk out, don't conk out! If you want things to stay hot at an age when other people are more into slippers than sex, you have to invest in your love life and take it seriously. "As you age, physical problems do occur and can be awkward," says Dr Katrina Herren. "But GPs have heard everything before, and medications like HRT or Viagra can really help." Relate counsellor Paula Hall agrees: "Couples who enjoy great sex after 10, 20, or even 50 years aren't lucky, they're committed. They recognise the boredom traps and don't take their partners for granted - so be grateful to each other for the little things, even a cup of tea!"

The dark side of COUGAR TOWN Dating toy boys has never been cooler.

 But with a new show dedicated to cougars on our screens, is it really all it's cracked up to be?

Courteney's new show is setting dating trends

By Laura Millar & Eimear O'Hagen, 11/04/2018

These days, seeing an older woman on the arm of a younger man barely makes us look twice. In fact, the number of women dating toy boys is increasing so much, they've even got their own nickname: cougars - after the wild cat with the insatiable appetite for fresh young meat.

Sexually empowered, these women want passionate flings with gorgeous guys and, thanks to the wonders of Botox and surgery, there's nothing stopping them from snaring their prey.

Websites such as Gocougar.com, Textbacklinkexchanges.com, Toyboywarehouse.com and Yesmrsrobinson.com have sprung up to feed their hunger, encouraging members to "recapture some of your youth" and "explore new possibilities".

In the US, it's so commonplace that conventions are held around the country to matchmake women with men young enough to be their grandsons.

And now there's even a television show dedicated entirely to the subject.

Produced by and starring Courteney Cox, 45, Cougar Town has just started showing in the UK on Living. Courteney plays Jules Cobb, a recently divorced businesswoman and mother who decides to inject some fun into her life by dating younger men, dubbed 'cubs'.

But there is a darker side to this modern-day dating phenomenon. While these women may think they are the predator, often they can be the prey. Like gorgeous girls who seduce sugar daddies, some cubs can see their older girlfriend as nothing more than a meal ticket.

Last February, Michael Willis, 21, was jailed after seducing 41-year-old Alison Teasdale from Sunderland soon after she got a large divorce settlement, then stealing £35,000 worth of her jewellery. While 69-year-old heiress Tania Campbell, from Cheltenham, was left bankrupt after marrying toy boy Chad Johnson, 31, who then emptied her bank accounts of her £250,000 inheritance.

And it's no coincidence that STIs are on the rise among over-45s. The theory is that older women often don't consider using contraception because their risk of pregnancy is so low. And after decades of marriage, they are less aware of the risk of sexually transmitted infections.

But these drawbacks aren't enough to stop US-inspired cougar conventions springing up in the UK. Rita Sangha has organised several around the country. Rita, 40, enjoys dating younger men, and even had a fling with a 17 year old two years ago. She insists that dating toy boys makes older women feel "alive".

So what is the reality? We talk to two cougars, a reformed cub and send our intrepid reporter, Claudia Connell, 43, along to a UK cougar convention to see if she enjoys getting her talons into a toy boy.

Claudia says: "Purely in the spirit of investigative journalism (and not at all in the hope of catching a cub in my claws) I joined Rita for my first cougar party.

Michelle (left) wants some fun

Sadly, we're not in Hollywood, we're in Harrow, north London. It's a cold, damp Friday night and I'm sitting in a small wine bar sandwiched between a Kentucky Fried Chicken and a 99p store. Eat your heart out, Demi Moore.

I usually mix with people my own age and, therefore, don't worry too much about what I wear, but as most of the guests are going to be decades younger than me, I don't want to stand out like Miss Marple at a rave, so I choose leggings, ridiculously high heels and a V-neck top. However, I know I'm not a true cougar when I find myself also packing a cardi 'just in case' and a pair of comfy flat shoes to drive in.

After half an hour of making polite conversation with the ladies, it quickly becomes apparent that there's one thing missing: cubs. It's no good me being a predatory cougar if there's nobody to pounce on.When I arrive, Rita is already there, along with her friend Michelle. We're all similarly dressed in tight-fitting black Lycra, and
I can't help thinking that we look a lot more Liz McDonald than Liv Tyler, or 'mutton dressed as lamb' as my gran would say.

Britain's Cougar Queen Rita hits it off

It beats bingo, that's for sure

Finally, an hour later, two scruffy-looking lads shuffle into the room. If any of the cougars are hoping for Zac Efron lookalikes, they are about to be bitterly disappointed. These two look, frankly, more high-school dropouts than High School Musical. Instead of being overcome with lust, I have an overwhelming urge to tell them to pull up their trousers and take off their woolly hats otherwise they won't feel the benefit when they go back outside.

One sidles up to me and introduces himself as Colin, a mobile-phone salesman, which is ironic as he definitely doesn't like to talk. "Why do you like older women?" I ask him.

On the prowl; Rita snags some prey

"Dunno, just do, innit," he replies.

Perhaps I'll have more luck with his bored-looking friend, Avi, who says he's 21 and unemployed. When I tell him how old I am, he shouts: "No way! That's mental - you're four years older than my mum. I gotta take a picture of you on my phone."

I'm not exactly sure whether I should be flattered that he perhaps thought I was a lot younger or if he can't quite believe somebody of my age would be out at this time of night.

After two hours my feet are killing me, my control knickers are cutting off my circulation and all I can think about is putting on my PJs and having a nice cup of tea.

Another hour goes by and two more cubs appear, clearly having sunk a few pints for Dutch courage beforehand. I get chatting to a guy called Lava, who claims to be 25, but looks a lot younger. He's much more honest about the appeal of older women: "They've got money and I'm not lumbered with paying for everything like I would be with a 21 year old," he reveals. What a silver-tongued charmer. And they say that chivalry is dead.I get chatting to Michelle who is the same age as me and divorced with an 18-year-old daughter and a 20-year-old son. She recently had a fling with a 23 year old and says it was the best sex of her life. Michelle readily admits that, following a long marriage, she's only interested in some casual fun and that younger men make her forget her woes.

Claudia cosies up with a cub

At midnight I decide that life on the prowl as a cougar is not for me. I put on my comfy shoes, wrap myself in my cardi, put some Michael Bublé on my car stereo and head home for a cuppa and bed. Bliss."

Sex and relationship therapist Simone Bienne says: "Women over 40 are looking better than ever, and are often financially independent too. If they're fed up with a lacklustre relationship with a man their own age, they know a younger man will have the energy - and the libido - to satisfy them.

But while being a cougar can be invigorating, it does have its disadvantages.

When the lust wears off there might not be much left on which to base a relationship. He might prefer playing his Xbox, while they fancy an evening at the theatre. And cougars may have that niggling doubt their partner will get bored and crave a younger model.

For a cougar/cub relationship to work, their personalities must complement each other. Cue the poster couple for the cougar age - Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher."

'My toy boy was just too needy'

Jeane Trend-Hill, 48, is a photographer and author from Langdon Hills, Essex.

"When I first started going out with James* a year after my divorce, I couldn't believe my luck. At 33, he was 10 years younger than me, tall, dark and gorgeous. I was secretly excited I'd bagged a toy boy.

We were both civil servants and met through work. Our life was a whirlwind of bars, parties and trips away. We had fun, he was complimentary about my looks, and liked the fact I had a lot of life experience.

I didn't notice the age gap at first, but as time passed, it became an issue. James was junior to me at work and never had much money, so I paid when we went out. I didn't mind initially, but then I began to feel as if I was looking out for a child, rather than having an equal, adult relationship.

James was also a mummy's boy. He'd visit her with his dirty washing and she still bought his underwear. While my friends went for walks or dinner with their partners, we watched football with his mates at the pub.

He would sulk if he felt I wasn't giving him enough attention and, to be honest, the sex wasn't even that good. So when our relationship fizzled out after 18 months, I felt relieved. And I was determined never to date a younger man again - it wasn't worth the hassle.

Six weeks after we split, I started seeing an old friend, Les, who's the same age as me. Compared to James, our relationship was very equal. We shared the same cultural reference points, liked the same TV shows and music.

This extra connection meant the sex was amazing too. We were just more in tune with each other and I didn't feel like I had to look after him.Les proposed in August 2005 and we married in March 2006.

Being with someone my age just feels right. We gel on so many levels. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I've been a cougar. But I'm much happier with a man who's my equal."

'My cougar girlfriends were too wild for me'

Matthew Jenks, 25, a delivery driver, lives in Bishop Stortford.

"I once complained to a friend that I found women my own age immature and sexually inexperienced, and he joked that I needed to find a worldly-wise divorcee.

It sounded like a good idea, so one night in September 2005, I approached an older-looking woman in a local bar. Gemma* was a 37-year-old insurance broker. She was brunette with gorgeous green eyes and a toned figure. We got chatting, the drink flowed, and before I knew it, we were back at my house having sex. I loved her confidence. She wasn't afraid of taking the lead in bed and the next morning, she didn't ask when she'd see me again. I found that really sexy.

Over the next few years, I enjoyed about 15 one-night stands with women in their late 30s and 40s. The oldest woman I've slept with was 46. When she told me her son was a year younger than me, I was shocked. I wasn't looking for a relationship and saw my flings as one-night stands.

But, in July 2007, I met Kelly*, then 37, in my local pub. As well as being good in bed, she had an energetic attitude to life and we really connected. It didn't even bother me that she had a 17-year-old daughter, and four months later, we decided to rent a flat together. My friends all joked about her age, but to my surprise my mum was supportive.

The cracks soon started to appear though. Kelly wasn't interested in going out with my mates - they're typical lads and she found them immature. She started quizzing me when I came back from weekends away with the boys and worried I'd leave her for someone younger. In May 2008, I ended the relationship. I was only 23 and wanted my freedom again.

Last December, I started seeing Lauren*, 20, a student. She looks up to me, and I like being in control. I'd started to feel emasculated by dating older women. I'm much happier now and glad my cougar phase is over."

'My cubs aren't using me - I'm using them'

Toni Byrne, 50, is a property developer and lives in north London. She is single and has a 20-year-old daughter, Sophia.

"I could be dating men my own age, but what's the point? I don't find them attractive - they're always moaning. Not like young guys, who are full of life.

Over the past seven years I've dated more than 15 men - the one thing they all had in common was that they were much, much younger than me.

In fact, they're probably more suited to dating my daughter, but I have fun with them - well, I have great sex with them!

I know some people might think that at 50 I should be knitting, but I don't feel old enough for that. I want fun, excitement, thrills and to feel adored. And that's what I get from younger guys.

I was married to my second husband, Paul*, 16 years my senior, when I first had sex with a 'cub'. Paul's idea of a good time was pottering around in his greenhouse. I had grown bored of him, so when Alex*, 22, the hot new trainee at my local hairdresser's, asked for my number, I agreed. The first time we had sex, I was so nervous, but it was amazing. It was heaven to be with a man who was toned, firm, and eager to please.

Did I feel guilty? No. I was enjoying myself too much. But Paul grew suspicious and confronted me. I admitted it and he demanded a divorce. Since then, I haven't looked back. I've had flings with about 15 'cubs'. I never worry I'm being used; I'm using them for sex, too! And I always practise safe sex - so what's the harm?

After two husbands, I'm happy on my own. I've got my own business, a house in London and a holiday home in Majorca - men are just an added bonus. I meet them on dating sites or in bars. They approach me and are normally stunned when they find out my age. I make an effort to look young though. I have Botox regularly and I work out.

My daughter, who lives abroad, doesn't know about my flings. Her boyfriend's 23 - my guys are about the same age. I'm not sure that she would approve. She wants me to meet a man my age and settle down. She'll be waiting a long time though. I love being a cougar and will carry on seeing younger men until they don't want me any more."

'Cougars are irresistible'

Kevin Short, 24, is a single, a shop fitter from Wolverhampton.

"In the past six months, I have made an amazing discovery - that sex with older women is amazing.

I'd only ever dated women my age before, but that all changed when I split from my last long term girlfriend.

I was ready for a bit of fun, so started going out every weekend, hitting the bars and clubs and having one nights stands with some girls my age.

But they always wanted more than just sex. And I didn't.

Then I met Karen* last November. Tall, blonde and with an amazing figure, she looked sophisticated and classy in a pair of tight black trousers and a cleavage hugging top.

As she chatted to me I figured she was in her mid-thirties, in fact she was 45. Divorced with no kids, she made it clear she wanted some fun.

She didn't just look good, she was funny, smart and unlike girls my age, she was interested in me, and what I had to say.

At the end of the night she asked me back to hers, I noticed she winked at her mates as we left, needless to say we went back to her swanky apartment and had amazing sex.

I found it a real turn on she was calling the shots. I enjoyed the best sex of my life. She was clearly comfortable with her body and knew exactly what she wanted. I liked being dominated in bed, and tried sexual positions I never before thought were possible.

We exchanged numbers the next morning but she made it clear we'd had a one night stand. Nothing more.

I admired her for that. And I wanted more of the same. I started going to upmarket bars in town and realised older women liked the look of me.

Last December, I had my second cougar experience, with Laura*. We started chatting in a bar and, although she was overweight, she had a pretty face and was clearly delighted when I flirted with her.

Making her feel sexy was a real buzz and I didn't think twice about asking her back to my flat at the end of the night.

Laura's body wasn't as good as Karen's, but she had the same irresistible spark. She was so uninhibited in bed, the sex was fantastic.

Next morning, out of interest I asked how old she was. I nearly spat out my tea when she told me she was 50 - nearly the same age as my mum, I didn't dare ask if she had any children - let alone grandchildren.

I've not told my mum about my older women, I think she'd be shocked and tell me to find someone my own age.

But I don't want to.

For now, I just want to date cougars. I'm in no hurry to settle down and to me, cougars are the sexiest women to share my time with.

In the past four months, I've had two more one-night stands with women in their forties. It's great no-strings sex and they're far more interesting and self-assured than women my own age.

My friends think I'm crazy for sleeping with older women. But they don't know what they're missing out on. I'd take a Mrs Robinson over a girl my own age any day."

The A-list pack: Celebrity cougars

Madonna, 51 Madge always loved fresh meat - toy boy ex-hubby Guy Ritchie included. She's currently dating model Jesus Luz, 23.

Kim Cattrall, 53 The Sex And The City star played man-eater Sam and in real life used to date chef Alan Wyse, 33.

Amanda Redman, 52 Cougar Amanda finally put away her claws after getting engaged to Damian Schnabel, 38, last month.

Demi Moore, 47 The actress is the best advert for age-gap love. And she and hubby Ashton Kutcher, 32, prove the lust can last.

Transgender - Maritza Perdomo

Maritza Perdomo hated her body so much, she wanted to kill herself. But a drastic decision changed her life . . .

When Maritza Perdomo was born, her mother Haydee was overjoyed. For a long time, she'd been trying for a baby and finally her dreams had come true.

But as her daughter grew up, it became clear that Maritza was different to other little girls. She lived in trousers and played with toy guns. And, as
the years passed, her boyish tendencies grew. Maritza began to believe that she was actually a boy.

It wasn't until 30 years later that she discovered a name for what she was feeling - gender dysphoria, where sufferers feel trapped in the wrong body. The remarkable discovery had dramatic consequences for Maritza who, aged 39, went on to have a sex change and become Mark Cummings.

"I was my parents' first child of three," says Mark, now 41 and living in Florida. "Mum loved buying me dresses - the frillier the better as far as she was concerned. But every time I put them on, I felt uncomfortable - like a boy trapped in a girl's body.

"I remember standing awkwardly in front of the mirror one day, before breaking down in tears. It was like staring at someone else and I didn't know why. All I wanted to do was wear shorts or trousers and, of course, no top.

"My parents soon noticed my peculiar ways and started buying me more and more dolls to try and turn my head. It didn't work. If anything, it made me
want to rebel more."

As Mark entered his teens, he became horrified by his developing body. "It was a disgusting feeling, developing breasts," Mark explains. "I just wanted to get rid of them and, one night, I even considered cutting them off. It was the lowest I'd ever felt.

"Going through the menstrual cycle was also devastating and completely alien to me. I kept thinking in my head, 'But I'm a boy, I'm a boy.'"

Mark found he was attracted to women and, at the age of 17, had a brief affair with another girl. But the relationship didn't last because of his lover's disgruntled parents. Feeling lonely with nowhere to turn, Mark forced himself to find love with a man. Aged 26, he met Fred, a bus driver from Kent, and shared a brief two-year marriage.

"Back then, I would have done anything to fit in and conform to what I was supposed to be like," says Mark. "My family already feared I was a lesbian,
so because of all the bad feeling, I tried hard to be 'normal'."

But the marriage was later annulled because Mark chose to remain a virgin and destroyed all photos of them as a couple. Mark moved back to America, where he took up female amateur bodybuilding and started taking steroids. And he was thrilled as he became more masculine.

"At first, I posed in a bikini with fake tan, but it still didn't feel right," he says. "The steroids caused me to develop facial hair, which I shaved off. I also developed powerful muscles. I adopted a cropped haircut, making me look more like a man, and tried to disguise my breasts by wearing baggy T-shirts."

However, without a girlfriend, Mark became depressed. But then he met Violet.

"I was working out in the gym when she came over," Mark remembers. "She admitted that she couldn't tell whether I was a man or woman, so came over to find out. I loved her honesty and we immediately became close. She seemed to be the only person who understood me.

"She'd been married twice before so I didn't think she'd be interested in me as a partner, but after too many drinks one night, we ended up kissing. It was amazing."

Violet, 41, agrees. "I didn't plan on it happening," she says. "I'm heterosexual and have never fancied girls. But back then, Mark was on steroids and looked like a guy. We clicked and I found myself falling for him."

The couple tied the knot in August 2003, but the marriage wasn't recognised because Mark was still a woman. For the next four months, they endured strange looks and snide comments from people on the street, until Mark decided to put an end to their pain.

"I wanted to get closer to Violet and bring a little bit of peace to our lives," he says. "Then someone in the gym suggested I might be transgender - trapped in the wrong body. I checked on the internet and realised that a sex change would be the solution. Until then, I didn't even know it was possible to change sex.

"I had to see a psychologist before I was given the go-ahead but there was no doubt in my mind. I was ready to do this."

In December 2003, Mark underwent a seven-hour operation to become a man, selling his house to raise £10,000 for the procedure. Surgeons removed Mark's breasts, ovaries and womb, then grafted his nipples down to size.

He was put on a weekly dose of testosterone to add more hair, alter his body shape and deepen his voice. It also triggered glands in his clitoris to achieve the growth of a two-inch penis. Mark has since celebrated his transformation by legally marrying Violet in a courthouse in Hollywood, Florida.

"Mark is such a loving and considerate person," beams Violet. "I didn't care that he didn't have a penis at the beginning but obviously now I'm chuffed to bits."

"I've finally achieved my dream," says Mark. "I used to be a prisoner in my own body but now I'm free."

A 14-YEAR-OLD girl chillingly reveals how she has slept with EIGHT boys after losing her virginity

A 14-YEAR-OLD girl chillingly reveals how she has slept with EIGHT boys after losing her virginity at TWELVE in an explosive TV documentary that will stun every parent in Britain. 

Wearing her school uniform, the youngster also tells how underage sex is RIFE among her friends and how she fears she has caught a sexually transmitted disease. 

And in a sad indictment of our country's generation of lost innocents, she says: "Sex makes you feel good about yourself. It makes you feel like people care about you."

The hard-hitting investigation also features a teenage boy who claims he has become "bored" with sex after sleeping with more than TEN girls since first experimenting sexually at the age of ELEVEN.

Mike O'Brien, now 16, warns: "Kids will have sex if they want to have sex.

"They won't use a condom if they don't want to use one." This week's ITV series Too Much Too Young comes just weeks after the News of the World revealed how underage teen pregnancies had become an epidemic.

In the worst area for gymslip mums, Redcar and Cleveland, an astonishing ONE in 50 girls under 16 falls pregnant.

Caz—the girl in the documentary whose real identity we are protecting—fits that profile.

She openly admits: "I've slept with about eight people. I wish I had said no more often, because I think only a couple of lads that I slept with cared about me, like even in the slightest.

"I think a lot of them, you know, just wanted sex.

"There are a lot of rumours going around about me. About how I sleep with everyone. But I can say No, it's just hard." 

Dressed in her school uniform she is filmed for the ITV1 documentary at a health clinic awaiting the results of a test for a sexually transmitted disease after having unprotected sex.

But her story is only the tip of the iceberg. Student Mike, of Wombourne, Wolverhampton, says his schoolmates consider the morning-after pill effective enough contraception—because they cannot be bothered using condoms.

"I have had unprotected sex. Safe sex and wearing condoms is now sort of a thing of the past really," he says. "People don't consider protection as an option."

Worried

Mike, the son of a teacher who comes from a respectable family, adds: "I've done a lot with girls I was friends with. That was sort of meaningless.

"I got bored with it too early as well, because it's just something that you do and get it over and done with, with a girl that you don't really care about or know."

He claimed girls at his school had the same casual attitude. 

"A lot of them are really bold about taking the morning-

after pill. They might be worried inside but they are cocky and boast about it in school." They should be worried too.

Rates of sexually transmitted diseases among teens have soared by 24.3 per cent since the morning-after pill became free in schools, according to government research.

But Mike's mum Lin appears resigned to being unable to stop her son. She says: "If you tell them to wait, I don't think it makes any difference, because they just do it anyway."

Mike adds: "Parents have got to realise that they can't stop their kids, they can't tell them no drugs, no sex, no drinking. Teenagers want to explore what they want to explore."

Yet there is some hope. He now wishes he could turn back the clock.

Mike revealed that after bedding a string of schoolgirls he became known at his state school for being promiscuous.

He says: "I only speak to one person from my school now because I got a reputation. I got labelled as a male slag and girls thought I was a player. I wasn't picky and people knew that. It's not something I'm proud about."

Mike and Caz tell their stories in Too Much Too Young which starts on Tuesday at 10pm. 

Young Americans have less and less sex

SEX - Young Americans today have less sex than previous generations despite the proliferation of internet applications and dating sites and a more tolerant attitude to sex before marriage, according to a study published Tuesday, August 2nd.

The researchers focused on "millenials", born in the 1990s and found that this population group was the most sexually inactive for the period of the Great Depression of the 1920s.

"The only other generation showed a higher rate of sexual inactivity was that of people born in the 1920s" and notes the study conducted by researchers at Florida Atlantic University and published in Archives of Sexual Behavior.

According to this publication, Americans aged 20 to 24 are much less likely to report sexual partners after age 18 than those born in the late 1960s.

Thus, 15% of 20-24 year olds had no sexual partner after 18 years, against only 6% for those born in the 1960s.

The young-they just take their time?

"This study really contradicts the notion that millenials are particularly free generation, an idea spread by the dating apps like Tinder for example, suggesting that they are just looking for casual sex," said Ryne Sherman , associate professor of psychology at the University of Florida. "Our data show that this is not the case at all," he adds. Young women are twice less sexually active than men.

Ryne Sherman noted that the reasons for this change are complex but may include more sex education, greater distrust against sexually transmitted diseases, easy access to pornography and perhaps a different definition of generations what a sexual relationship, as it involves or not oral sex for example. Know what a sexual relationship and be able to watch the video does not lead to more real sex for young people, yet the study said.

The study also notes that under millenials have their driver's license or have an employment, suggesting that they "ripen more slowly than those born in the 1980s."The Washington Post interviewed several researchers on the subject to understand the possible causes of this development, but difficult to be assertive as they are numerous: more late transition to adulthood, work pressures, social networks and smartphones or changing mores are so many avenues explored.