Make me beautiful. Susan Taylor spent nine years and £10,000

Susan Taylor spent nine years and £10,000 trying to get the perfect look

Looking at my new face in the mirror I froze and couldn't even breathe. The surgery was meant to make me beautiful. Instead, my husband Mark and I had spent over £4,000 for me to look disfigured.

Before the op I had been unhappy with the way my face had aged and I had low self-esteem as a result.

Mark was supportive when I said I wanted laser treatment to remove the wrinkles around my eyes and top lip. I was a sun worshipper and smoked heavily, so I looked pretty bad for 41.

He was working down the mines and I had a part-time factory job. We reckoned we could afford the op if we gave up a holiday.

I saw consultant surgeon David Herbert. He was recommended by a friend of a friend who said her facelift had knocked 10 years off her ­ she didn't have a wrinkle left on her face. His suggested treatments came to £4,300 and I went into the Cromwell Clinic in Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire on March 15, 1998.

I had complete faith in Mr Herbert. I had a facelift, neck liposuction, dermabrasion to my top lip and laser treatment round my mouth. He also smoothed out the wrinkles round my eyes.

PAIN

But the minute I came round I was in indescribable pain.
I couldn't move my head, talk or drink, and my right ear was red raw and burning where the stitches had worked loose.

The painkillers didn't work and I begged to be given something stronger. So much for being told I wouldn't feel a thing!

That was just the start. When I first saw my new face, I could have sobbed my heart out. But I couldn't because of the stitches.

I went back 10 days later to have them taken out. My face still looked awful. My mouth drooped because a nerve had been damaged in my neck and the lower part of my face was red and burnt.

It took six months for Herbert to admit it was the worst post-op loss of pigmentation he had ever seen. The laser had literally cooked my skin and left me scarred for life.
Before the operation, I was a friendly person who loved people. Afterwards, my life stopped and I virtually stayed inside my home in Ashfield, Nottinghamshire for three years. When it's your face, you can't hide it.

Amazingly, it didn't affect my relationship with Mark. He's been so understanding. When I was depressed I didn't want sex and if I did, I'd have to put on lots of make-up. But in the end I think all the problems made us stronger.

However, during the day I couldn't stop crying. And I travelled all over, trying to find a surgeon who could fix my face. They all said nothing could be done.

I spent hundreds of pounds on ointments, to no avail. Then I was diagnosed with clinical depression. It was two years before I began to feel a little better. I started listening to music again, speaking to friends and leaving the house to go shopping.
In January 2000 I went back to Herbert. It's impossible to get pigment back into a scar, so I agreed to have the rest of my face whitened to match it.

But the result was far worse. It went brown and the scar showed up even more. And my face was all blotchy.

DEFICIENT

A few weeks later, Herbert was on the news. It turned out that he'd made a mess of lots of women. He was dubbed The Flying Doctor because of the speed he worked at.
Later I gave evidence for the General Medical Council. It found his performance ³seriously deficient" and he was suspended. In April 2002, he removed his own name from the medical register.

I got an out-of-court settlement of just over £6,000, all of which and more I've spent on my face. I have had micro-dermabrasion to the scar on my neck and £2,500-worth of agonising skin paling. Ironically, though, the most effective thing was a pot of £17 bleaching cream I found myself. It paled my face and camouflaged my scars within days.

By March 2005, the only bit of brown I had left was around my neck scar. So I went to another medical group and was given creams for three months ­ and at the end of the course, I'd never looked as good.

But then I had blue peel treatment. Big mistake! My face went all brown again and I was back where I was nine years previously, having spent a fortune on repairing the scarring.

Today, my face still isn't how I want it, despite further laser and Botox treatment. But it hasn't put me off cosmetic surgery. I'm planning on having everything done again.
I want a chin implant, another facelift and my neck lifted. Except this time, I've found good surgeons who actually know what they're doing.