Section A
1. When you have a row with your partner, you tend to think:
- I wish I hadn't opened my mouth
- We'll talk it through once we've calmed down
- I haven't got time for this - there are too many more important things to be doing!
2. This year, your holiday plans are:
- You've thought about Malaysia, but will probably stick to Spain
- Non-existent. You've been too busy to arrange anything
- Something new - maybe an activity holiday like rock climbing or scuba-diving
3. How far ahead do you plan your social life?
- A week ahead - I need to schedule in friends, family and the odd day trip
- Three weeks - I would really hate to double-book and let someone down
- On a night-by-night basis - my social life is my life
4. What's your attitude to going to the gym?
- My membership gets a twice-weekly workout
- Jim, who's he?
- What's the point? There's no way I'm ever going to be a match for the skinny girl working out on the StairMaster
5. This summer, you're planning on hitting the beach in:
- Industrial underwiring - erm, how on earth did those extra pounds get there?
- A floaty kaftan. I'd hate to think of people staring at any of my wobbly bits
- Last year's faithful bikini once again - there's life in the old girl yet and it still fits fine
Section B
Tick the phrases that most apply to you:
- I try hard not to get too tired, whatever I'm doing
- If I wasn't enjoying myself in bed, I'd fake an orgasm to get it over with
- I wouldn't rule out taking medication for low moods
- I find that I have a tendency to put others before myself
- My man and I share the housework
- I feel stressed most of the time
- I can touch my toes without difficulty
- I can't remember the last time I tried out a new recipe
- I find it hard to forget critical comments that others make
If you ticked mostly red:
You're racing to the finishing line
There won't be anything wrong with your body in your 50s and 60s - it's upstairs, not downstairs, that's the problem. If low self-esteem is making you a turn-the-light-off girl now (you're not alone - according to a recent survey, 64 per cent of couples make love in the dark*), in the future these fears may make your love life shudder to a stop, not a climax. "Mental health plays a huge part in how much sex you have," says Harley Street doctor Hiten Patel. "This is true especially as you hit the menopause (which UK women do at 52, on average) when levels of libido-raising oestrogen fall." But even before the menopause, research has found that the less attractive you feel now, compared to how you viewed yourself 10 years ago, the more likely you are to shun sex**.
Bonk out, don't conk out! Get some PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) and it'll soon become Please More Action! "Doing an activity that boosts assertiveness, like drama or a dance class, will boost your self-worth," says psychologist Dr Petra Boynton. And don't rule out counselling. Of couples who had relationship counselling with Relate (Relate.org.uk), 90 per cent reported feeling more confident.
If you ticked mostly green:
You'll run out of sex steam
While slotting sex into your life isn't so much of a problem now, it could soon become one if you don't focus on your wellbeing. The British Medical Journal report found that healthy people's sex lives lasted around six years longer than those of unhealthy people. Plus, one in three people admit cutting a sex session short because they were too tired*. Medication for depression and high blood pressure, plus conditions such as diabetes, can affect your orgasm and your man's erections. Keep on at this pace and aching muscles could soon be the only stiff thing in your bed!
Bonk out, don't conk out! "Finding time to exercise might be tricky with a busy schedule, but it will help your body act younger for longer," says Dr Patel. And biologist Phillip Whitten found that 60 year olds who swim regularly have as much sex as people 20 years younger. "Thirty minutes of cardiovascular exercise three times a week will make a difference," says Bupa's Dr Katrina Herren. Weight loss can help, too. In a study of overweight women in their 40s, 75 per cent had sexual problems but found that losing 10 per cent of their body weight boosted their bedroom behaviour***.
If you ticked mostly blue:
You're a long-distance lover
Woah - how did you take time out from between the sheets to even read this quiz? A healthy body, an upbeat outlook and a taste for the, erm, more adventurous positions mean your sex life isn't just great now - it's likely to stay so well into old age. Keep it up by exercising, eating healthily and bigging yourself up. "Women I've worked with who are confident enough to ask for help in their lives - be it at work, with housework and childcare - and who make time to rest, all report more satisfying sex lives," says Dr Petra Boynton.
Bonk out, don't conk out! If you want things to stay hot at an age when other people are more into slippers than sex, you have to invest in your love life and take it seriously. "As you age, physical problems do occur and can be awkward," says Dr Katrina Herren. "But GPs have heard everything before, and medications like HRT or Viagra can really help." Relate counsellor Paula Hall agrees: "Couples who enjoy great sex after 10, 20, or even 50 years aren't lucky, they're committed. They recognise the boredom traps and don't take their partners for granted - so be grateful to each other for the little things, even a cup of tea!"
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