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воскресенье, 13 августа 2017 г.

Donald Trump - Kim Jong Un Brothers Twins?

 Donald Trump - Kim Jong Un Brothers.  Find 10 Differences

воскресенье, 23 июля 2017 г.

Confession of a sexual patient ... Station Gorilla ...

This note is purely imaginary and any resemblance to existing persons would be entirely fortuitous and independent of the will of the author, the racist remarks are present only to accentuate the odious character of the person in question, a denominated Maurice. The reader will forgive me the outrage of these remarks, which do not in any way reflect the mentality of the author of this pamphlet. 



"My name is Maurice, I am a pig and a bastard, but all the women find me beautiful, I wink, they fall into my arms, I drop my fly, they love only me. I prefer the big sluts who have nothing to lose, the Catholic bourgeoises, more devilish than they appear, the young journalists, the secretaries, the assistants, when I pay them, I kiss them as I hear, I am pressing, when I force them, I do not pay them more, I am a sexual sick. 

I do not like violence, no, it seems to me, on the principle, I'm a Gorilla in good rut, but I can not stand a woman resisting me, I do not know why, but Excites me, then, sometimes I confess, I brutalize, but just for pleasure, for my pleasure, it is a small violence as each Gorilla is able to have it with his females. In the US, with the call girl, it's even better, I pay, I use, I consume at my leisure, I never mind their pleasure, only mine counts, The customer is king, that's what I like among Americans. It is true, I confess, I am selfish, but I have money, little morality and I take advantage of it cheerfully, that's how you will understand when you get it, if you have one. 

Ah! I am vicious, I make everybody believe that I could save France, that I would be the only one capable of it, and everybody believes me. De Gaulle was right, the French are oxen or calves, and I do not remember very well, if they are oxen, it is because they are castrated, and I like this idea, castrated by ... And so little will, is practical in politics, an electorate without conviction. 

What I like in life is to kiss the African women, they are easy women, we can do them what we want,
Before this dirty business, I had a job that brought me all over the world and especially in Africa, what I was able to put on the end of the " negresses ", I felt the feeling of Colonial, who takes advantage of what nature offers him, without the least restraint. These submissive women who call me "daddy" and who respect me, the great white wizard who will allow them to leave the country to come and clean the hotels in Paris or New York, I, the great Maurice, knight White of the French policy, I make them understand that papa is there to give them big spanking before taking them, possibly, one day, perhaps ...
When they are kneeling, I like them even more, I can slap them with my soft sex, I am sixty years old, it explains, but I am joked, they are only " negresses ", their Smell excites me, I lose my head and I appreciate this feeling of forgetting me, it is the luxury of a man of power, the luxury of a white face to a black who remains his slave.
Lately, I had a dirty deal in the USA, in my hotel, with a maid, I was coming out of my shower, like everyone else, my towel around the waist, it is true that I had heard a noise , And suddenly I saw her big black ass move in front of me, she polished the table in the living room, I do not know what took me, I jumped on it and like the negresses Are easy, I let myself go, but she did not want me, I was nevertheless naked, she should have been excited, at least a little.
At the beginning of a sexual act, you know, not all women are necessarily consenting, but later, by force ...
Then I grabbed her by the breasts, thinking that it would excite it, I did not think, it is besides the only thing that came to my mind and the more I tightened between my Dirty hairy hoofs of excited Sylene, the more I hurt her, the more I liked it; She did not know who I was, I was, I am Maurice, a future president of the republic, I am the one who seduces women, who I'm the ejaculator, the spitting cobra, the mega jar, the fucking shit, the meat fly, I communicate, and I do politics for money, and money, , My wife too, I have even a lot since I collaborated as a minister to the scam of the century, Participated in the $ 18 billion embezzlement on behalf of my president; Of course, I received a good commission, several millions placed on several accounts in Switzerland, Luxembourg and elsewhere, it was a state theft, therefore authorized, I obeyed the orders of the " Elysee, and so much the worse for the victims, two poor French cons who do not understand that we must let go when they have lost. It is all the same, the fierceness of the poor to fight for the money that is stolen from them, it would be necessary to vote a law against the revolt of the cons, no, it would be necessary to establish a democratic dictatorship? Several million in several accounts in Switzerland, Luxembourg and elsewhere, it was a state robbery, so authorized, I obeyed the orders of the Elysee, and so much the worse for the victims, two poor French cons who Do not understand that you have to let go when they have lost. It is all the same, the fierceness of the poor to fight for the money that is stolen from them, it would be necessary to vote a law against the revolt of the cons, no, it would be necessary to establish a democratic dictatorship? Several million in several accounts in Switzerland, Luxembourg and elsewhere, it was a state robbery, so authorized, I obeyed the orders of the Elysee, and so much the worse for the victims, two poor French cons who Do not understand that you have to let go when they have lost. It is all the same, the fierceness of the poor to fight for the money that is stolen from them, it would be necessary to vote a law against the revolt of the cons, no, it would be necessary to establish a democratic dictatorship?
I am a politician, you will have understood, for I despise the people, this people is poor, I can not endure misery, then how stupid it is to chew hay the poor people, I make them believe that I And the worst is that it works, the bigger the strings, the more it works and the more powerful I am, the more I can do the stuff you want.
I am supported by very important people, they trust me sometimes, sometimes we get together between MPs, former ministers, and secretaries of states, and I like to kiss the women of my friends. Something in common, something profound to share; I take advantage of it, I empty my bag, it allows me to know if my buddies have it in the pants, most of the time, it is not the case, politicians are early ejaculators, they are so used to To kiss the French, that when evening comes, they are no longer good for anything with bobonne, so I relieve them, I substitute, sacrifice me, believe me, it is a job to hobble the others and me, It does not prevent me from sleeping, not kissing, nor loving my wife as much as those of others.
I have a buddy, very cultured, a contemporary French theater specialist, from the same political party as me, he defends me systematically, he defends me for me to protect him, because he knows that I am powerful, why , Because he goes to Morocco to kill little boys, everyone knows, but nobody says nothing, good, it's true, he is not the only one, there was also a TV host , But he is no longer of this world and he too loved to do sex tourism but he did not hide, money, with money, we can do everything. Sometimes he met party comrades in Marrakech, where I have a magnificent property, and finally, sex and power are linked, you understood.
To exonerate me of this sexual assault case with the black maid in my hotel, I just found the parade with my communication team, I said it was a conspiracy, evidence, of course , There is none, but by sowing doubt in the mind of the majority, I attenuate the feeling of the public towards me; You have to be smart and always be the master of the game, that's what I do, and it works now, my comrades deputies against attack by throwing lies to the paces of truth and the public begins to believe. 

And then, I still have this affair on my hands, a little bitch whose mother I kissed on a desk of our permanence, when I saw her kid, I thought I could type, I gave her an appointment in the bachelor that we share with other bastards, she arrived, I locked the door behind her, and I asked her to hold my hand, I was And then, not holding any more, I jumped on her, but the idiot, she struggled, she tapped me, with her little fists all cute, but I did not let go of the piece, it m Excited the idea of ​​typing the girl after the mother, but the little slut she did not want to know and she managed to escape me, that one, I vowed to kiss her one day. After my American business, this little girl decided to file a complaint against me, she is afraid of nothing, she does not know that I am untouchable. 

I'm a bastard, I know, but it's stronger than me,
In any case, I am told that I am finished in politics, but I did not say my last word and if I missed the presidential rendezvous, there are still others, and I A post of Minister of the Left, soon, with all the files I have on everybody, they all do in their frock, and I am told finished, frankly, the French do not understand anything about politics or power, Is so easy to manipulate them, the poor cons. 
My name is Maurice, I am a pig and a bastard ... 

To spread without moderation, by not omitting, the author of this pamphlet ...

суббота, 22 июля 2017 г.

DSK, A RETURN WHEN EXPECTED ... BUT TOO, IT'S TOO ...

For a while I have refused to use three letters which only inspire me with disgust, the fourth letter of the alphabet followed by the letters S and K, DSK, does not mean these three letters, KSD, SKD, DKS ... initials that have no meaning, and a very useless variation that brings nothing but annoyance at the present time. Is it necessary to explain who is behind these three innocuous letters?

A man who, as the New York Post pointed out, is incapable of keeping his "closed fly", a man who drags behind him a sordid reputation for his relationship with women, a man who systematically escapes justice in bad faith. Declares systematically that the accusations against him are mere affabulations, nevertheless, in his affair of the Sofitel in NY, one finds traces of seminal liquid (his) on the victim and marks of violence were recorded in the PV, In concluding, he implements his diplomatic immunity against a charge of sexual assault, thereby allowing him to file the case; Against Tristane Banon, the courageous young woman who in France accuses her of having attempted to rape her, but as he is lucky and obviously very protected, He enjoys the prescription for the crime committed, even if the facts are recognized by the court; Today he is putting it off, he is sparing not the French people, that terrible child of politics, he who is defended to pieces and shouts by PS deputies, his long-time friends, or a writer like BHL, Always ready to defend the oppressed, who climbs to the niche for him gold, he has not seen much to defend the victims of his friend DSK, now he is implicated in a case of procuring in Lille he denies With vehemence, somewhat of the kind:
-       I want the police to hear me to wash my honor of this mud that makes me dirty ...
If only it was mud ... but it could be thought that bad luck always strikes at an innocent man, but in the light of each investigation, suspicions are increasingly heavy, or even turn into Beams of evidence, worse, in sensitive revelations. It seems that the whole world is aware of the actions of this individual, and even that everyone knows that it maintains with women a relationship close to brutality and domination. American prostitutes have said that it is not necessary to introduce too sensitive a beginner between her paws and for good reason, when one attends a posteriori to the treatment of shock that would have put under the maid of the Sofitel of NY, To Tristane Banon and others, including the IMF.
Today, the DSK series continues, like a never-ending story, it is in the center of a dirty, very dirty Escort Girl affair in a luxury hotel (again) in Lille and Paris. One could accept that a man of his temple would like to hire the services of young women, and that would be his right, but a man who was to be president of the republic, a man who would set an example to the French, The services of prostitutes by businessmen in the field of construction and public works, I fear that it goes beyond the limits of decency, but especially those of hypocrisy concerning all the cases in which it is involved, since before the Statements that follow, he always publicly claims and claims that he has nothing to do with this case,
 - " I went with Jade, a prostitute whom René (René Kojfer, public relations officer of Carlton, under investigation) had made known to me. There was Fabrice and Jean-Christophe Lagarde. We ended up at the station and then, at four, we went to Paris. We went to a hotel, the Hotel Murano. We ate in the room and then we had sex. Everyone was with his girlfriend, I was with Jade, DSK also had his girlfriend and there were other people . " (David Roquet)
Question: "Has Mr. Strauss-Kahn paid anything?" (Examining magistrate)
"No, he was invited."
- "He was invited but he came with a girlfriend?" (Investigating Judge)
- "Yes."…
http://www.lefigaro.fr/actualite-france/2011/10/20/01016-20111020ARTFIG00679-carlton-de-lille-le-pv-qui-met-en-cause-dsk.php
In this case, if these declarations are proved, DSK risks being attacked in court for abuse of social goods, sincerely, this wealthy man who is offered this type of service without anything in return, is strange at least?
Unless the professional protagonists of the construction industry have bet on the bad horse and all their efforts and "tariffed sexual" investments have fallen in the water since the arrest of DSK in New York, ah! No luck ... for the upcoming tricks ... One understands well how power works:
- I offer you nice gifts and in exchange, when you are in place, you will return me the same.
In any case, it seems difficult today to believe that DSK is innocent of the crimes he is accused of, even if the justice takes care to save him especially for reasons that escape us, then, if you have An opinion on the question, please share it with us to enlighten our consciousness which is finally lost through the meandering of hypocritical and certainly false statements, to the detriment of victims who have lost their honor and a part of their lives, Not to mention the psychological damage that continues and will continue throughout their lives.
While DSK, struts in public and on TV with a smile of happy contentment, shouting his innocence and redemption, but who can still believe it now?
The only good news of the day is the novelistic end of Le Bouffon de Sirte which puts an end to 42 years of dictatorship, assassination, attacks, rapes, exterminations ????
What if we were lying all along?
No one can rejoice in the death of a being, but was he still human to act as he did, mercilessly, without regrets for humanity or for his suffering people?
Did his people suffer so much?
The hypocrisy is today of pretending to look for the one who would have killed the tyrant to judge him, but it was better for the European leaders that this one has the breath cut off not to reveal the tacit collusions maintained with the great ones of this world .
Long live freedom, and of course, long live America, which is not unrelated to all its revolutions of the Arab Spring, let us never lose sight of the reality and the reasons which are purely economic and geostrategic.
We live in a great time ...

понедельник, 19 июня 2017 г.

Moves: Steep comedy of horror

FUNNY COMEDY FROM STUDIO ANGEL FILMS


среда, 10 мая 2017 г.

Is your iPod making you old? (And 6 other ageing enemies)

Feeling the effects of age? Forget smoking and sunbathing – there’s a new army of crinkle-culprits...

From niggling new aches and pains, to the wrinkle you're sure wasn't there yesterday, getting older is no fun. Fact.But we all know what ages us fast, right? No, it's not just a life of constant partying. Research has uncovered that culprits now include gadgets, health kicks, even 'miracle' creams.
"While genes play a role in how we age, lifestyle is a huge factor, too. Luckily, you can do something about that," says Dr Pixie McKenna from Channel 4's Embarrassing Bodies. Read on to find out what - then dust off your ID ready for the barman!
1: Ageing enemy:




Being so face fashionable




Yep, we're always leaving our sunnies in the park/office/pub, too - but buying a cheap pair to compensate could be a false economy as far as your eyes are concerned. "Many fashion sunglasses don't filter out the harmful ultraviolet rays that speed up the growth of eye diseases like cataracts," says Boots optometrist Carolyn Zweig. Not to mention the wrinkles from all that squinting

This season's wraparound specs - à la Sarah Jessica Parker - are perfect as they protect against harmful rays coming in through the sides, too. "Look for ones that filter both of the harmful tanning rays - UVA and UVB," advises Carolyn.
At full volume, MP3 players can reach 120 decibels - the same volume as a jet engine!



2: Ageing enemy:




Celeb-style workouts




You dutifully pound the park every morning to get a Teri Hatcher-style figure - but you could be adding years to your face. "Women take up running in the hope it'll make them look slimmer and younger, but too much jogging can strain skin," says diet and movement specialist Joanna Hall (Joannahall.com). "The constant up and down motion pulls facial tissues, reducing elasticity and firmness."
Walk before you run! "Walking won't put your skin under the same pressure," says Joanna. Step out in a pair of new Reebok EasyTone Flip Flops, £45 (Reebok.com). Bouncy air pockets in the soles reduce the skin-sagging impact and improve muscle tone in your calves by up to 28 per cent.
3: Ageing enemy:




Your love of GaGa




Your quest to drown out fellow commuters with Poker Face puts you at risk of permanent and premature hearing damage. "In-ear headphones you get with MP3 players aren't always great quality, so you crank up the volume - but this can permanently damage hearing after 15 minutes," warns Emma Harrison of the Royal National Institute for Deaf People (RNID). Experts are calling for the maximum volume setting to be 85 decibels.
"Invest in a pair of noise-cancelling headphones (available at Rnid.org.uk), which remove background sound so you don't need to turn the volume up as loud," recommends Emma. If you're worried about your hearing, take the RNID's online hearing check on its website to rate your ability to hear with background noise.
4: Ageing enemy:




Your gloomy outlook




Always double-checking you've been given the right change? Or likely to eye up your friend with a look of doubt when she offers you a compliment? It's time to loosen up, because not trusting people knocks years off your life expectancy. "Research shows that people who don't assume everyone's out to get them will live longer," says Phillip Hodson of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (Bacp.co.uk). "By always being on guard, your body pumps stress hormones like adrenaline into your system to keep you alert, and this can take its toll on your heart. It's like constantly revving your engine and it will wear out."
Let your guard down. "If you're speaking to someone new, ask them lots of questions about their life," says Phillip. "This will shift the emphasis from you, so you won't feel defensive and suspicious."
5: Ageing enemy:




Crash dieting




Think ditching a couple of pounds will help you look younger? Have we got news for you. Research by Harley Street plastic surgeon Rajiv Grover found that the strain put on your body from crash dieting can cause an ageing spurt on your face. "Ditching meat, fish and eggs, which lots of dieters tend to do, can thin hair and make skin look old before its time," says Dr Pixie. "That's because they contain cell-boosting iron, which makes haemoglobin to carry oxygen to cells, and vitamin B12, a great cell regenerator. These are both essential for healthy skin and hair."
Ditch the 3pm chocolate fix. Sugar causes a process called glycation, where pesky sugar molecules attach to protein molecules (such as collagen, which is essential for plump, pert skin) and destroy them. The result is wrinkly, saggy skin. Nice.
6: Ageing enemy:




Making sex-cuses




OK, so we're not saying you need the sex drive of a Premiership footballer - but saying no to nookie could take its toll on your complexion. New research by Dr David Weeks, a neuropsychologist at Royal Edinburgh Hospital, has found that couples who are at it at least three times a week look around a decade younger than those who have sex less often. "Sex releases endorphins, which improves circulation to your skin and boosts your immune system - making you look younger and helping you to live longer," confirms Dr Pixie.
Get wed! If you're married this could lengthen your life expectancy by five years - experts believe the security of a relationship makes people less stressed.
7: Ageing enemy:




Your designer moisturiser




Many moisturisers contain sunscreen to protect against the ageing effects of UV rays - but cutting out the sun can age you, too.

"We need sunshine to make vitamin D, which protects us from certain illnesses. Not getting enough could make you prone to ones linked to old age, such as brittle bones," explains Dr David Grimes, a consultant physician at Royal Blackburn Hospital. "Be careful, but try to get five to 10 minutes a day in summer without wearing sunscreen."
Keep wrinkles at bay with the new Slendertone Face (£300, Slendertone.com), which emits pulses of electric current that tone droopy face muscles. After 12 weeks, 94 per cent of testers had firmer skin*.

вторник, 9 мая 2017 г.

Why big thighs save lives

And 5 other reasons to love your wobbly bits!

Ditch those too big, too small or too chunky thoughts - those bits come with health benefits, too!
Next time you're giving that lucky cow with the Kelly Brook cleavage and Elle Macpherson pins -the evil eye - stop! Turns out our 'eww' areas (yes, even your jigglier-than-J-Lo bum!) could help us live a longer, healthier life. British women think 36 bad thoughts about their bodies a day (with noses and boobs topping the loathe list), according to a recent experiment by ITV's Tonight programme. But, health expert Dr Kem Thompson says: "If there's a part of your body that can't be changed by healthy lifestyle habits, chances are you need that part just as it is." So it's time to get the body bits you hide back on side...
1: Health hero - Barely B-cup boobs




So your bust consists of more padding than anything else? Well, your modest Keira Knightley-sized assets are actually a health benefit. Canadian researchers have found that those with D-cups or larger at 20 years old were one and a half times more likely to develop type 2 diabetes later on in life than their flat-chested mates. Experts don't know exactly why, but breast fat is thought to release hormones that make us resistant to the sugar-balancing hormone, insulin. Small boobs also mean you're less likely to suffer aches and pains, too. "Large breasts pull down on the middle of the back, which can cause headaches, backache and neck pain," says physiotherapist Sammy Margo. "If you're big busted, try swimming to firm the muscles that support your breasts."
2: Health hero - Super-sized thighs




You may have palpitations at the mere mention of the words 'hot' and 'pants', but when it comes to lowering your risk of heart disease, being more Beyoncé than Paris Hilton is good news. "Fat on your thighs and hips locks in harmful fatty acids that would otherwise collect around organs, such as your heart, which increases your risk of having a heart attack," says Dr Konstantinos Manolopoulos from the Oxford Centre for Diabetes, Endocrinology and Metabolism. Whatever your thigh size, taking quick bursts of exercise before mealtimes reduces your amount of unhealthy fats. Try taking a 10-minute speedy walk three times a day.
3: Health hero - Lots of moles




You might hate them, but it's time to think of your moles as friends not foes! According to research by King's College London, ladies with 100 or more moles have super-long telomeres. These are DNA structures that stop chromosomes fraying and breaking down - so the longer your telomeres, the slower you'll age. "It could mean fewer age-related diseases, such as heart disease and osteoporosis," says Dr Veronique Bataille, who worked on the trial. But if you're lacking in moles, you're not doomed to premature wrinkling. Doing 15 minutes of vigorous exercise every day keeps telomeres long and healthy. If you notice any changes in your moles, see your GP.
4: Health hero - Being a mini me




You had to endure short-arse taunts at school, but who's laughing now, eh? Petite ladies (if you're under 5ft 6in, that's you) have up to 30 per cent lower risk of skin cancer than taller girls, according to experts at London's St Thomas' Hospital. It's not known why, but science bods believe there's a link between growth hormones and cancers. Until it's proven, eat more garlic - it blocks lipid peroxide, which triggers skin cancer growth*.
5: Health hero - A pearly white complexion




Pale skin reduces your risk of osteoporosis, breast cancer, multiple sclerosis and infertility. These occur less in people rich in vitamin D, and pale skin has higher levels than darker skin.
"We produce vitamin D from UV sunlight, but melanin - which gives dark skin its colour - blocks UV light," says Dr Helen Cooper of Birmingham University.



6: Health hero - Chunky calves




French scientists have proved that people whose calves are large in relation to the rest of their body have less artery-furring than those with leaner limbs, possibly because calf fat is good at removing nasty fats from the bloodstream, stopping them from doing any harm. That doesn't just help your heart; atherosclerosis (as the furring is known) has also been linked to an increased risk of Alzheimer's disease. If you're still determined to slim your pins, low-carb diet plans, such as the new Atkins diet, have been found to reverse artery clogging by five per cent after two years**.

The capsule curve-loving wardrobe


How to ace all your assets:
1) Slim thighs with tailored trousers: Pleats flatter larger thighs. Trousers, £35, Stone Paper Bags at Oli.
2) Boost small boobs with frills: Give yourself a killer cleavage with flouncy frills and a deep neckline. Top, £25, A Wear.
3) Beautify your bum with an A-line skirt: This shape skims hips and bums while cinching in waists. Skirt, £22, Next.
4) Smooth out chunky calves with a jumpsuit: Skims calves and ankles so they look slimmer. Jumpsuit, £38, Dorothy Perkins.
5) Look taller with a high waist: Petites look great in raised waists as they lengthen legs. Dress, £25, Be Beau at Matalan.

понедельник, 8 мая 2017 г.

Super-size your exercise! Want to maximise your workout in half the time?

Want to maximise your workout in half the time? Lose weight without realising? Course you do...

Call us lazy, but the problem with working out is that it's just, well, a lot of hard work! If only there were simple ways to revamp your shape without having to put in huge amounts of nearly-kill-yourself effort... Well, hello regime-dreams! "If you want to improve your body through exercise it's about working smarter, not harder and certainly not for longer," explains personal trainer Daniel Newman. Shake up your usual routine with the power of these small changes and watch those muscles tone up and the pounds drop off.
1 Burn fat. Faster!




No one has the time - or the inclination - to spend ages in the gym (there are far more less-sweaty things to be doing), and now it seems shortening your sesh can make you fitter, not fatter. Professor Jan Helgerud from the Norwegian University Of Science And Technology has discovered that working out in quick bursts at max effort is as effective as a non-stop low-intensity routine that takes twice the time. "The intense bursts of exercise encourage your body to build a type of muscle fibre that uses up oxygen and fat faster, burning extra calories in the process," explains Professor Helgerud. Try alternating four, four-minute bursts of running at maximum effort with three-minute recovery periods at a lower intensity (time to talk about last night's 'Enders). Add a low-intensity six-minute warm-up and cool-down, and you'll have spent just 30 minutes exercising but burned the same amount of flab as an hour-long sesh.
2. Stop the weights worry




Time to overcome your fear of the weights section - it's not going to turn you into an oiled-up meat-head, it'll actually do the opposite. "Using weights encourages your body to turn fat into muscle and, for every pound of muscle you gain, your body uses around 50 extra calories a day, because active muscle needs more fuel than fat cells," explains Daniel. In fact, researchers at Tufts University in the US found that using weights boosts metabolism by 15 per cent, so you'll still burn energy after your workout, even while you're on the sofa reading this.
3. Exercise al fresco




Swapping the stuffy gym for your local park not only means no more sweaty splashback from that beefy bloke on the cross-trainer, but you'll burn five per cent more calories, too. According to Phil Hayes, an exercise physiologist at Northumbria University, the outdoor combination of wind resistance and uneven ground means your muscles work harder than they do on a treadmill, using up to 300 extra calories during a one-hour run. Definitely worth getting blustered around for.
4. Sup to slim




A cool water might not have the same ring to it as a cold beer, but taking the tap stuff super-cold burns off 75 extra calories a day (shame the same isn't true for a G&T). It's all down to how hard your body has to work to consume it, and the colder, the better. "Your body uses one calorie to heat a litre of water by one degree, so heating a litre of iced water (zero degrees) to body temperature uses 37 calories - and double that for your recommended two litres," explains Professor Mike Gleeson from Loughborough University. Drink at least 500ml before your workout as being dehydrated will halve your stamina.
5. Boost your burn




Fed up with sacrificing your post-work pub sessions for gym workouts? While it might sound tough, switching your snooze off for an early-morning run around the park instead of an evening one burns 100 extra calories - even if you spend the rest of the day sat on your butt. How? It's because exercise boosts your metabolic rate (the speed at which your body uses calories) for almost 20 hours afterwards, so if you're on the go for the rest of the day, you'll burn more calories than if you just crawl into bed in the evening. "Exercising before 9am for an hour boosts metabolic rate by 13 per cent for the first three hours, then four per cent for the following 16, which could add up to an extra 100 calories burnt off by the end of the day," explains online personal trainer James Griffiths.*
6. Belt up




Seems the humble belt works in fashion and fitness. OK, so it might not look as good as your favourite Topshop skinny, but wearing a weighted belt can help you shift a muffin top while you walk. "For every 1kg of weight carried over 1km, your body needs one calorie," explains Professor Gleeson. It might not sound like very much, but simply pull on a 10kg belt for a 30-minute brisk walk (try it on your way to work) and you could burn an extra 150 calories in one week (that's the three jaffa cakes you end up scoffing when you're feeling bored, FYI). Try the Adjustable Waist Belt, £39.99, Amazon.co.uk.
7. Max your motivation




You don't need us to tell you that getting hot and sweaty with an international rap-star-cum-sex-god would be good for you. Sadly we can't whisk him into your bed, but putting him on your iPod will help keep your motivation levels up. Experts at Brunel University have discovered that runners listening to tunes with beats that matched their heartbeats were distracted into working out for 15 per cent longer without even realising. Good warm-up tunes are around 80-125 bpm, like Kylie's All The Lovers; then build up to 130-150 bpm, with songs such as Usher's OMG. Work out to your perfect playlist by downloading the BPM Analyzer (Mixmeister.com), which is a free app that calculates the BPM of your fave tunes in seconds.
 
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