From the Desk of the Director, Cold War Reenactment Society

Welcome, new members of the Cold War Reenactment Society (henceforth known as the ‘Tradesmen Benevolence Society’ or simply ‘The Society’). As Director, it warms my heart to know that so many are dedicated to upholding the tradition of honest analog espionage. No computer program or data breach could possibly compete with the authentic satisfaction that accompanies a lovingly planted bug or the elegant jab of an umbrella-tip full of ricin. It feels so good to know there is a real person opening, reading, and then resealing your mail — that there’s a real pair of eyes behind those binoculars and dark, drawn curtains.

Expect no drones here, only flesh-and-blood, morally compromised people devoted to doing whatever it takes to do whatever it is we do here.

First let us deal with the practicalities. Your tweed jackets, tortoiseshell glasses, and tan trench coats are provided, but Society members are expected to provide their own heavy glass ashtrays and drinking problems. First assignments will be given after a short evaluation and bowler hat-fitting period. Secret families across town may be established upon request.

Please indicate if you are being blackmailed into spying for The Other Side via the enclosed necktie color chart. Double agents are encouraged to become triple agents. Quadruple agents will be mocked.

The Society includes three ranks of specialization. THIEF kit members will receive a crowbar, wire cutters, a black turtleneck, a ball-peen hammer, sanitary gloves, and a cassette tape cued up to to “The Girl From Ipanema.” FIGHTER kit members will receive duct tape, torn bedsheets, a lighter, five gallons of gasoline, one canvas sack, one dozen oranges, and a Walkman containing “The Other Side” by The Doors. WIZARD kit members will receive a graphing calculator, a transistor radio, a terminal connected to ARPANET, a short-sleeved dress shirt, and The Best of YES on vinyl.

Members wishing to specialize in asset acquisition and running will be given makeovers, a free fashion consultation, a weeklong improv workshop that includes a lecture from a “How to Win Friends and Influence People” guru, and a copy of “Kinsey Ain’t Nothing But a Number.” Members wishing to specialize in Administration have already been contacted at their respective Yale clubs.

For general advice on assignments, please consult the following supplementary materials: ‘So Your Gay Lover is Defecting,’ ‘Recruiting at Oxbridge: Wingtip Tips,’ ‘Advanced Redacting,’ and ‘101 Uses for a Windowless Room.’ These can all be found inside hollowed-out books titled NORWEGIAN MARITIME TAX LAW 1880-1887 located in friendly used bookstores.

In addition to our annual ‘We’re Not So Different, You And I’ meet-up with The Other Side, The Society hosts many recreational activities, including Wig Making Classes, Accent Acquisition, Honeypot Potluck, and Group Contemplation of the Grim Mathematics of Mutually Assured Destruction (21+).

Society members with small children are encouraged to get them involved by introducing the Shredded Document Jigsaw Puzzle game and re-casting ‘Hide and go Seek’ as ‘Front and Follow.’ Junior Society Members can practice their skills by observing and reporting on their friend’s parents. Remember: It’s never too early to get them used to using dead drops.

Society meetings will take place in movie theater balconies, alleyways near embassies, empty VFW halls, and when you’re least expecting it. Transcripts of previous meetings may be requested via cryptic messages in the classified section of your major daily newspaper. Please have a P.O. box under an assumed name for deliveries, or just have your oblivious spouse pick them up unknowingly.

If you need to contact the Society directly, merely flick the light in your upper-story bathroom twice or begin speaking into any public pay phone; an unmarked black van will be with you shortly. Members are advised not to use actual radio stations for communication. No one wants a repeat of the Mykonos incident.

Members are also encouraged to peruse alternate funding streams for the Society, such as goods transporting, people moving, and community narcotics outreach.

A request for a full copy of the Society Rule Book may be requested and then denied. Remember, whether you’re playing for your Crown, your Country, or your Party, it’s not about winning. It’s about making sure our off-the-books budget never decreases.

Good luck. We’re all rooting for you and/or plotting against you,

-D.

P.S.: Congratulations on successfully decoding this letter. It has been treated with a contact poison already working its way into your bloodstream. The antidote will be given at the next Society meeting.

Bella Hadid, the charm of Cannes (12 pic)

The sublime 21-year-old model has been overthrowing the festival for two years now.

She has only been to the Croisette for two years and she has already become a must. The charm of red carpet and crazy Cannes nights. Bella Hadid , 21, one of the most coveted models on the planet, never misses the Cannes Film Festival. It will also be in a few days on the red carpet of the Palais des Festivals as a series of Magnum House.

It must be said that in two years, Bella has succeeded. At each of her appearances, she makes a sensation. The press people takes his looks, his appearance, his attitudes all more sexy than the others. Who does not remember his arrival on the red carpet in 2016 with his red silk dress , which left little room for imagination? Who does not remember his appearance at the 2017 amfAR gala in a strapless diamond dress? Yes, Bella Hadid is the festival's it-girl, the photographers have understood it well, and are doing everything to follow the sublime daughter of Mohammed Hadid during the fortnight.

A few days before the beginning of the 71st Cannes Film Festival, Paris Match invites you to discover or rediscover the most beautiful Bella Hadid looks. Definitely, the charm of the Croisette.

A Day In The Life Of A Fictional Female Reporter

This Classic NEWSSVET Post originally ran on Apr 15, 2018.

9:17 am: Sleep with a source.

10:00 am: Sleep with my boss.

10:58 am: Find a powder-blue Oxford shirt that doesn’t quite button up over my breasts. Buy eight.

11:13 am: Internet.

11:45 am: Cultivate moxie, “stick-to-itive-ness.”

12:11 pm: Return to source’s house for more sex/to steal the incriminating book he keeps locked in his nightstand.

1:03 pm: Naked interview.

1:36 pm: Refuse to perform on-air puff piece about a cat show, demand to be allowed to

 tag along on big story; decide to strike out on my own and get to the bottom of things after being rebuffed.

2:27 pm: Sex on newsdesk.

3:00 pm: Sabotage source’s career in order to get the big scoop after sleeping with him one last time.

3:02 pm: Stare expressionlessly at computer monitor as if to say, “What have I done?”

4:15 pm: Publish big scoop, receive “well done” from boss I am sleeping with, whose approval I am no longer sure I want.

4:51 pm: Sex in press room during office party. Feels hollow, somehow.

5:39 pm: Return to source’s house for a quick round of hate-sex and then to help him find redemption. Together we’re going to find an even bigger scoop. And then I’m going to have sex with that scoop.

This story made me INCENSED on the writer’s behalf

I is deg.

---

Totes are up! Get ’em while they’re there! I wound up re-ordering both Ship AND Mermaid, because I have a soft heart. If you have emailed me about a freebie and heard back, you are getting one. If you have not heard back, you are on the (at press time, 25 person) waiting list, from which I will claw a name whenever I get a new donation to the bursary. I have also added 37 Spear totes back to the storefront, about to become a collector’s item!

Remember, if you are International and order a tote, shoot me an email if you don’t get a chance to place your email address in your order, since I’ll be mailing those totes out myself and either charging you more or refunding you slightly (everything is coming to you the slowest and cheapest way possible.)

“You just get stronger”: How Powerlifting Saved My Life

The free weights were in back of the gym, which meant I had to walk a gauntlet of giant, muscular men all grunting and yelling and slamming weights to reach the empty squat racks. Thankfully they were all empty or I might’ve walked out, unwilling to wait, unwilling to loiter near the intimidating men. I struggled to move the 45-pound bar to a height that could work for me, panicking momentarily when it felt so heavy being hefted by my scrawny noodle arms, but after stepping into the rack you can’t leave without squatting; that would be ridiculous. I stepped under the bar, and the moment my hands gripped the knurling, the knurling gripped my traps — there was nothing but me and the iron. I took a deep breath and I squatted. I stood back up without falling over and I grinned.

---

I started lifting in May of 2013. I was 23, just starting a pre-med post-bac program that was going to lead to medical school. I had quit my job as a preschool teacher, where I’d spent the past seven months overeating out of anxiety and boredom because there’s not much else you can do when you’re watching two-year-olds all day. When none of my clothes fit comfortably I decided to change my body instead of buying new ones, because I loathe shopping for clothes.

Running-loathing millennial that I am, I started to Google. Somehow I found this Nerd Fitness post about a powerlifter named Staci. The idea you could change your body composition without running was news to me, and Staci was close enough to my height and weight that her progress seemed attainable. So I kept reading. I bought Starting Strength. I watched form videos until I realized all I was really doing was procrastinating.

Starting Strength is (on the internet) the Beginner’s Bible for powerlifting. I’ve since gotten different advice and cues from other programs and more importantly from my coach, but it was an excellent starting resource for someone with social anxiety who didn’t have anyone to ask at the time. The most important thing I took from it was the importance of checking your ego at the door. Start with “just the bar.” Add weight every week; keep progressing until you can’t.

Movie Yelling With Mallory and Nicole: Captain America: Civil War

NICOLE: I have removed “off the record” on gchat which I never had selected in the first place.

MALLORY: I know, I had it selected
I always do

NICOLE: I mean there is no reason not to, except for the purposes of blogging about Civil War.
The young woman who tried to comment a thousand times about Bucky’s hair leads me to open with “we have covered Bucky’s bad hair.”
The hair was bad.

MALLORY: yes
I do also want to point out
that after I tweeted repeatedly about the hair’s badness and went to bed
you texted me
“you dumb fucking bitch you better call me as soon as you get up so I can explain Captain America to you”

NICOLE: I certainly did.
I did do that.

MALLORY: so explain it to me
what have I Missed

NICOLE: But I ALSO said you were right about the hair, for the record.
Here we go.
This is not a case of “a Marvel movie which doesn’t always make sense if you have not seen eleventy Marvel movies.”
This is a NAMED TRILOGY.
CAP ONE
CAP TWO
CAP THREE

MALLORY: I DON’T LIKE CALLING HIM CAP

NICOLE: (You are also correct that Cap is a bad nickname.)
lol

MALLORY: okay thank you
so this is not an Avengers movie

Scarlett Johansson, the sorcerer (11 photo)

Every Tuesday, Paris Match offers you its Sexy Match collection. Now it's Scarlett Johansson's turn.

For many, Scarlett Johansson is the most beautiful actress in the world. The dreamlike physique of this American actress of Danish origin makes men and women from all over the world dream. Pulpy lips, azure eyes, plunging neckline, she possesses this body recognizable between thousand. Elegant and explosive, desirable and provocative at the same time. Like a beautiful goddess, she conquered the whole Hollywood.

Because beyond its appearance, Scarlett has established itself as a sure value in US cinema. Better one of the most bankable box-office stars, making hundreds of millions of dollars a year! It must be said that his talent is brilliant; his films have marked the last ten years: from "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" to "Lucy" via "Lost in Translation", "Match Point", "La jeune fille à la perle" and of course the trilogy "Avengers". Whether superhero, android or seductive, Scarlett plays her characters like no one else and ignites the big screen. I'm sorry, she's bewitching.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator

Patrice Chapon, the master of chocolate

Soon Easter! This is the opportunity to meet one of the rare craftsmen to ensure the entire manufacturing process, from the cocoa bean to the gourmet egg.

This Peugeot 203 of the 1950s was converted into a mobile foam bar.

It's a tiled shop that looks like it came out of a Tim Burton film, where, in the middle of the cocoa scent, the raw wood furniture rubs shoulders with an old machine that roasts the precious beans. A wall covered with shelves surmounts glass bells housing each of the cocoa fragments, whose bewitching scent we are invited to smell. Patrice Chapon is an explorer of taste.



Since 1986, he has been travelling the world in search of the small producers that he has found in the heart of the Brazilian forests or at the bottom of the Sambirano valley in Madagascar, populated by mygales and royal pythons: "These are hacienda cocoa, which I buy very expensive, to convince producers not to sell them to the cocoa industry.



I look at the beans after they dry and check that they are perfect, of a beautiful color. Then, I roast them in Chelles, near Paris, before proceeding to the conching (which lasts twenty-four hours and whose goal is to remove acidity)".

In his moss bar, in Paris, Patrice Chapon serving a chocolate mousse.

Chapon is the only chocolate maker who does not use soya lecithin or cocoa butter. His passion is pure, concentrated, intense cocoa, a blessing of nature, rich in vitamins and minerals and free of any chemicals during its agriculture. Its cocoa trees grow in an almost virgin environment, between mango, eucalyptus, banana, hibiscus and vanilla trees, which communicate their perfumes to cocoa.

Milk chocolate and dark chocolate egg garnished with caramelized cashew nuts, filled with fries and mini-Easter eggs, 35 €.© Philippe Petit / Paris Match

In his shop, he has created a chocolate mousse bar that reconciles us with this dessert often too sweet. Each was made from a unique terroir cocoa: Ecuador (rose petal notes), Madagascar (cherry aromas), Venezuela (100% sugar-free cocoa: an explosion of dried fruits!), Peru (blackberry, ginger) and Ghana (spicy and intense nutmeg taste). Thus it is possible to appreciate the taste and the quintessence of each of these particular vintages. Enthusiastic, the Queen of England made Patrice Chapon her ice cream maker for chocolate ice cream...

Mosses are served here in cones or 100 gram (6.20 €) jars. Besides cocoa, Chapon uses only organic eggs and good cane sugar, no vanilla, no preservatives, no orange peel, he is also the first craftsman to use the cocoa pulp that covers the bean and is necessary for its fermentation. From this pulp he makes sorbets and drinks with the incredible taste of lychee.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator

Inside about the price for Dogecoins for six months.

  
January 2018 1 cent
february 2 cents
march 4 cents
april 8 cents
may 16 cents
june 32 cents
july 50 cents
August $ 1

For information you can throw a couple of coins on any purse.

Bitcoin (BTC) 1DkP12nRbTVSrVt1dgJzBEBg2bdX9d8L6M

Dogecoin (DOGE) AEJsVny8N1rKpt9jLo6qaQbdpZY3sxeeWJ

Litecoin (LTC) 37KVmNfCfV38K9qUaefX6hgd6f7BAASStH

BEYONCÉ AND EMINEM HEADS OF POSTERS AT THE COACHELLA FESTIVAL

Beyoncé, Eminem and The Weeknd will be the headliners of Coachella's influential American music festival, the organizers of the rally announced on Tuesday, which for the first time will not have a rocker as their main attraction.

The festival, which takes place in the Californian desert in April on two consecutive weekends with the same programming, will mark the great return of Beyoncé, which will be the first concert since she gave birth to twins last June.

The pop star had promised last year that she would perform this year (13-15 and 20-22 April) after having to give up Coachella on the advice of his doctors, replaced by Lady Gaga.

The rapper Eminem will be the other big name of Coachella, back on stage after the release of his album "Revival" last month.

The Canadian R & B singer The Weeknd, who has exploded in recent years, will for the first time figurehead for this festival in which he has already participated.

This choice of Coachella is just one more sign that the traditional rock bands are losing ground on the American cultural chessboard, nibbled by the hip-hop which gleaned for the first time the majority of the nominations at the latest Grammy Awards.

Even though the gondola heads have changed, many rockers will still be present in April, such as The War on Drugs or alt-J.

The 2018 edition will also mark the first steps of the French Jean-Michel Jarre to Coachella, he who made his first American tour last year.