Dating tips for men: EXPOSED

Could these men talk you into bed? Nope, us either

 

They’re not much to look at, but these professional pick-up artists reckon they’ve got us girls sussed

By Helen Bownass, 01/08/2010

Belly poking out from under a diamanté-encrusted T-shirt, Marius looks like the world's unlikeliest love guru. As he climbs the conference stage to rapturous applause, he pushes his sunglasses on to his balding head and raises his arms in acknowledgement. "The purpose of any relationship with a woman is sex," he announces. "Remember, taking her out for an expensive dinner is half the price of an hour with a hooker." Honestly, that is exactly what he said.

Welcome to The 21 Convention in Stockholm, Sweden, where men from all over the world pay to be taught how to get any woman they want. And Marius is one of the so-called experts who claims he can teach his 50 new recruits the tricks which will get you into bed within a few simple steps.

Psych and his lurve equation

Marius is a PUA - a professional Pick-Up Artist. He's a man who believes he has the power to pull any woman and he is sharing his particular brand of lessons in love at this international convention - the first of its kind in Europe.

The conventions have been running for three years in America, attracting hundreds of delegates who pay up to £250 for a three-day course to learn fail-safe chat-up lines, pulling techniques and confidence tricks. Today, the crowd, which is made up mainly of 20-and 30-something men, are bemused, while one or two are, worryingly, taking notes.

"They're the most extreme speakers here," convention organiser Anthony 'Dream' Johnson reassures me. Oh, you don't say? It's down to this 21 year old from Florida that plane-loads of the world's finest PUAs have descended on Sweden to teach their skills to an audience that has flown in from the UK, Holland, Spain, America and even Costa Rica.

And brace yourself ladies, next year, the PUAs are coming to the UK. "There's a growing market of European men wanting to learn how to pick up women," Anthony says. "We're holding the 2011 event in London."

Don't cop a feel on the first date, Vince

But just who are these self-styled love gods, charging up to £500 a day to impart their love skills? And why do they think they're qualified to teach men how to handle the fairer sex? From the collection of bad jeans, daft nicknames and, dare I say it, handcuffs as fashion accessories - they don't look like the world's finest seducers.

"I used to be so useless with women," Anthony, a student, explains. "Then I read The Game." Written by Neil Strauss who is hailed as the king of PUAs, The Game is a controversial book that teaches men how to become experts at seducing women by approaching as many ladies as possible using a range of techniques, such as maintaining eye-contact and laying on the compliments. Before he got together with Katy Perry, Russell Brand was a fan, which should tell you all you need to know¿

After reading The Game, Anthony went out on his own every night for four months to practise approaching women. "I had a different girl in my bed every week," he claims. "But I quickly realised it wasn't a good thing. I was becoming addicted to the attention and it drove my friends away. I didn't see them for months - so I decided to channel my energy into something more positive - the idea of a convention to help other men seemed like the perfect idea."

And so Anthony set up The 21 Convention. His self-belief and enthusiasm are infectious. In fact he seems like a genuinely nice guy. "I just want to help other men work on themselves, to become stronger and more confident," he explains.

With five speakers and nine hours of talks a day, the programme is intense. At 43, Vince Kelvin, who used to teach self-help courses, is one of the oldest PUAs here. Standing at around 5ft 6, with a dress sense best described as 'urban cowboy', he's got the most blindingly white teeth and all-American smile I've ever seen. So far, so not a love god. But his chat and charisma make him oddly compelling. And it's not just me who thinks so. He claims his bedpost has over 100 notches - including over 30 women in three months - and one look at his wife Amy, a hot, blonde 30-something,is proof in itself Vince must have something special.

Is Helen laughing at him or with him?

Vince got into the scene after a nasty break-up with his ex-wife. "I hit rock-bottom," he says. "I had such bad 'approach anxiety' that every time I tried to speak to women, I'd imagine my ex-wife was there and I'd go mute." He started reading self-improvement books and working with a hypnotist who taught him to self-hypnotise to convince himself that he could do better with the opposite sex. "I never use it on the ladies though," he quickly reassures, staring deep into my eyes.

He's not the hottest bloke on the block, so what makes him so successful? "Experience, passion and an appreciation of women," he explains. "I remember when I couldn't meet women. I think that's what makes me good at what I do. I've been there."

I'm also surprised by Frederick 'Satisfaction', 28, from Holland. He got into the 'business' after a particularly bad relationship ended, and three years without sex. "I think every good coach should have a basis in social psychology," he says, explaining how he uses his training in neuro-linguistic programming - which combines hypnosis with a language of gestures and verbal clues - when he's coaching other men. Frederick, a former teacher, spends half his sessions delving into his client's personal lives to work out what's stopping them being successful. "More often than not it's their self-esteem that needs to be boosted," he explains.

Richard and his trusty flipchart

Representing London is Richard 'Gambler' La Ruina, 30, who's what your gran would call a 'one'. A master of the traditional 'game', he has a repertoire of subtle approaches, using conversation openers rather than cheesy chat-up lines, piquing a woman's interest by analysing her hand-writing or body language. Off-stage, Richard admits he'd not even kissed a girl until he was 21 years old.

"I studied 'picking-up' books for 12 hours a day," he confesses. "Once I felt like I'd learnt everything I could, I went out to try and meet women and realised that I wasn't scared of them any more. Within about a month, I'd lost my virginity. I was 25."

Being a teenage loser in love is a recurrent theme with the PUAs. Saved by their version of the Bible, they turned their love lives around and then decided to pass on their skills to other men - like the men they used to be. In the process, they've probably also learned to love the sound of their own voices and how to draw a pie chart dedicated to dating achievements, but their success stories speak for themselves.

American coach Psych tells me about the virgin who lived in his mum's basement, who's now married and expecting his second child thanks to the PUAs' help. Meanwhile, Vince cites the man he saved from suicide because he couldn't get a woman. And a quick look at Richard's Facebook shows reams of messages from men professing their gratitude for turning their lives around.

"Yes it's an ear, Richard, so what?"

Nothing, however, prepared me for Jared 'Ratisse' Dwyer, 27, from Florida. The former student, has only been in Sweden for four days, and he's already had sex with three women. He seems to want me to be number four. Despite accessorising his belt with a pair of handcuffs, he's actually the best-looking of the trainers. "Let's go somewhere quieter," he urges, running his hands up and down my arms. OK, so I am single and there is a bit of me that considers it for a moment. But only for research purposes. Don't worry, I didn't.

So who are these guys who have flown in from all over the world to sit in an industrial estate and learn how to get off with women? To my surprise, they're not all clueless geeks. Thomas*, 28, a tall smiley Dutch bloke, wants to learn how to be more confident. "I know it should be easy, but I find flirting so stressful," he says. And Dan*, 30, a gorgeous indie guy with floppy blonde hair is here to work out how he can keep a girlfriend. "Having a relationship is hard," he explains. "I want to learn how to open up more."

There are, of course, a handful of men wanting to meet as many women as possible. "I'm the biggest slut I know," Mike*, 23, boasts. "I've convinced my girlfriend to have an open relationship and I'm here to learn how to meet more women." Nice.

Jason explains why triangles are the key to women

Around three-quarters of the audience have been on similar courses. Some follow their favourite PUAs around the world, and there are books and DVDS on sale, as well as the chance to book into bootcamps or get one-on-one training. Which makes me wonder if I'm in the wrong career. I could easily tell men where they're going wrong with women.

After three days in Stockholm, I'm actually pleasantly surprised with some of the PUAs' teaching. I can't help but think, if men took the basics of it - the confidence and the positive-thinking - and left the chat-up lines behind they'd be far more successful. As for me, as cynical as I am, hanging out with men who love women has been hilarious, ridiculous and surprisingly insightful.

• The 21 Convention will be in London from June 1-5, 2011. Visit The21convention.com for more information.

'I still get rejected'

Professional pick-up artist, Jared 'Ratisse' Dwyer, 27, from Florida, explains why he became a PUA

"When I was growing up, I was crippled by low self-esteem. Too terrified to ask girls out, I thought everyone was better than me. Then, when I was 17, I met a Russian girl called Anna in a shopping centre. We had a real connection and, a month later, I had sex for the first time. It was amazing and it made me see myself in a completely different light. Anna thought I was attractive and fun to be around, so I decided to believe that as well, even after she dumped me a few months later for someone else.

After reading The Game, something suddenly clicked in my brain. I'd always been quite analytical, so I decided to start studying dating as a science in a bid to find the love of my life. The first thing The Game advised was to try going out three-to-seven times a week, so I bit the bullet. Bars, clubs, shopping centres I tried to chat-up every single beautiful woman I saw.

The Game also explained compliments were a good opener, so I memorised some routines. Of course I was still nervous, but even when women turned me down, I was still proud of myself for trying.

Over time it got easier and my success rate improved as I became more confident. I'd get a kiss, then a phone number, then a date and then sex. Before long, I was sleeping with around 20 women a month, but it didn't make me feel sleazy. I was looking for love after all.

I couldn't believe how successful I'd been, so two years ago I decided to help other men struggling with dating, too.

Now I charge $750 (£510) a day to teach them how to connect with women - how to go in for the first kiss, how to change their opinion of themselves. But it's up to them to put my teaching into practise.

I still get rejected occasionally, but now I take it all in my stride. In the last three years, I've slept with more than 140 women, and been in love twice. However, I won't stop until I've found the person I'll spend the rest of my life with."

Are his fatty man-meals leaving you with a less than ladylike muffin top?

Blitz that bulge with your bloke

By Fiona Hunter, 04/04/2010

You're deeply in love and can't bear to do anything without your man. You go to the cinema with him, you watch TV with him and you eat with him. In fact, you eat just as much as him. So, is it any surprise that women gain an average 4lb in the first year of living with their man*? Those super-sized portions are enough to leave any girl busting out of her skinny jeans. And we bet his waistline isn't exactly waisting away either! But with a few he'll-never-know food swaps, you can both munch your fave meals and stay friends with the scales.

Man meal: Takeaway curry

Calorie count: 800 cals, 40g fat

Fat girl slim: Sorry girls, give anything containing a rich sauce a wide berth. Kormas and dhansaks, for example, have around 700 cals and 35g fat per serving. Instead try grilled or baked dishes - dopiaza, jalfrezi and sag all contain around 400 cals and 25g fat. Vegetable or fish curries are healthier choices, and choose a chapati (111 cals, 0.5g fat) rather than a naan bread (456 cals, 12g fat) to save a whopping 345 cals and 11.5g fat.

You save: 400 cals, 20g fat

Man meal: Sunday roast

Calorie count: 850 cals, 29g fat

Fat girl slim: Nothing beats sitting down to a mouth-watering traditional roast lunch, but Sunday can be slimday! Choose lean beef, ditch any excess fat from the roasting tin and use the juices to make the gravy - you'll save around 75 cals and 6g fat. When you're preparing your roasties, keep them large - the bigger the spud, the less surface area there is to absorb fat. Then toss them in olive oil before cooking, rather than pouring the oil all over the spuds in the baking tray. And yes, it's tough, but limit yourself to one small Yorkshire pud (40 cals, 1.5g fat). Instead, fill your plate with at least two types of vegetables. You can get creative, for example try roasting carrots with honey and orange. And make sure you steam green veg rather than boil to keep the flavour and nutrients.

You save: 200 cals, 10g fat

Man meal: Bangers and mash

Calorie count: 800 cals, 50g fat

Fat girl slim: Sausages on your plate doesn't have to equal sausages for legs. Oh no. Supermarkets are heaving with reduced-fat varieties these days, and choosing a lighter option can save you about 120 cals and 14g fat per sausage. You should grill them instead of frying, and make mash less fattening by swapping butter and cream for 1tsp of half-fat butter and a dash of skimmed milk. If you're worried about the mash tasting bland, add a handful of chopped fresh herbs.

You save: 300 cals, 30g fat

Man meal: Chinese takeaway

Calorie count: 800 cals, 40g fat

Fat girl slim: Although the Chinese diet is generally healthy, takeaway versions tend to be fatty with lots of salt, which can lead to high blood pressure. So instead of just ordering your usual No 301 sweet and sour pork balls, take a closer look at the menu. Sweet and sour dishes can contain the equivalent of up to 8tsp of sugar, so opt for slimline stir-fried chicken, pork or fish. Choose steamed rice (214 cals, 2g fat) rather than egg-fried rice (500 cals, 13g fat) and you'll save a massive 286 cals. Ordering the chicken noodle soup (75 cals, 1.5g fat) instead of deep-fried starters like prawn crackers (214 cals, 12g fat per 40g) and spring rolls (131 cals, 6g each) will also help. OK, you can eat the fortune cookie, if you must!

You save: 400 cals, 20g fat

Man meal: Kebab

Calorie count: 749 cals, 49g fat

Fat girl slim: They're not just a tasty nibble for late-night revellers - surprisingly kebabs can be one of the healthiest fast-food choices, because they come with a hefty dose of salad. Choose a chicken shish rather than a doner kebab as you'll get chunks of lean chicken cooked on a skewer rather than processed pieces of fatty indeterminate meat. Ordering wholemeal pitta instead of white will mean you get extra fibre, which will fill you up, and make sure you ask for salad a-plenty. But go easy on the dressings, as they'll only add more fat and salt. Then tuck in and enjoy!

You save: 345 cals, 30g fat

Man meal: Fry up

Calorie count: 750 cals, 50g fat

Fat girl slim: They don't call it the "999 breakfast" for nothing, so give the traditional heart attack on a plate a healthy makeover. Go for lean back bacon rather than streaky and grill your meat instead of frying it to save 50 cals. Poach your egg and you'll save another 40 cals compared to fried. If you're a beans fan, Heinz WeightWatchers will save even more calories, but your fella won't taste the difference! Finally, ditch the fried bread (184 cals, 12g fat per slice) in favour of wholemeal toast with low-fat spread (100 cals, 2g fat). We promise it'll still have the same healing effect on your hangover!

You save: 300 cals, 30g fat

Man meal: Fish and chips

Calorie count: 850 cals, 47g fat

Fat girl slim: Don't despair - just because everything in the chippy is deep fried, it doesn't mean you have to forfeit a feast. Eat the fish but ditch the batter and you'll save around 350 cals and a whopping 30g fat. Ask for a small portion of chips (c'mon, you can do it!) and instead fill your plate with mushy peas - they're full of fibre and a large serving contains just 80 cals.

If you're cooking at home, choose fish in breadcrumbs rather than batter and oven bake rather than fry to save 123 cals and 12g fat. Low-fat oven chips will save you another 100 cals and 5g fat compared to deep-frying - and they won't make your hair and clothes smell like a truckers' caff, either.

You save: 400 cals, 35g fat

Ils sont sexy, simple et malheureusement, ils restent de cette façon

Rencontrez les hommes qui ne peuvent jamais trouver une femme assez bon pour garder

«JE NE DOIS UNE FEMME POUR REMPLIR ME '

Robin Lander Brinkley, 31 ans, vit à Portsmouth, où il possède et dirige une société de relations publiques et de marketing.

ROBIN, 31

«Je ne suis jamais allé dans une relation sérieuse à long terme, et je ne prévoient pas être.

Je ne crois pas à avoir une relation juste pour le plaisir de le faire.

La dernière fois que je suis sorti avec quelqu'un correctement était il y a plus de 10 ans, quand je suis à l'université. Je suis sorti avec une fille pour un couple de mois, mais il n'a pas fonctionné. Elle nous voulait passer tout notre temps ensemble et ça m'a fait me sentir pris au piège.

certes, je ne manque pas sur la compagnie féminine. J'aime être avec les femmes intelligentes et intéressantes, mais il va rarement au-delà d'un couple de dates. J'aime partager ma chambre de temps en temps, mais je ne pouvais pas le faire tout le temps et je ne pas aimer l'idée de quelqu'un d'autre étant toujours là.

Mes parents se sont séparés quand j'étais 22. Il a causé beaucoup de mal pour ma mère et sa jeune soeur, et je suppose que cela a affecté mon attitude - Je me méfie de provoquer quiconque ce genre de douleur.

Beaucoup de mes amis se sont installés - Je suis déjà allé à sept mariages cette année. A l'un d'eux, je suis la seule personne sur ma propre. En regardant autour de tous ces couples se tenant la main, juste m'a fait me sentir un peu nauséeux! Je suis sûr qu'ils pensaient que je manquais quelque chose de spécial, mais je ne me sens vraiment pas que je besoin de quelqu'un d'autre pour me rendre la vie complète.

Le seul inconvénient potentiel de ne pas vouloir une relation est que je pourrais manquer d'avoir des enfants, ce qui serait une grande honte. Mais je suis le parrain d'une belle petite fille, Emily, âgée de sept ans, et beaucoup de mes amis ont des enfants qui vous aimez passer du temps avec.

Je pense que des hommes comme Gerard Butler ont obtenu absolument raison. Il est évidemment très heureux avec sa vie, est entouré par de grands amis, et les dates des femmes quand il se sent comme elle, sans se sentir la pression de quiconque de s'installer. Et c'est exactement ce que ma vie est comme ".

«J'ADORE LES FEMMES MAIS JE SUIS MARIÉ À MON JOB '

Celebrity coiffeur Stuart Phillips, 40 ans, dirige un salon exclusif à Covent Garden de Londres, et vit à Essex. Il a été seul pendant deux ans.

STUART, 40

"Les gens pensent que parce que je suis un coiffeur, je suis gay. Mais rien ne pouvait être plus éloigné de la vérité!

Je me suis marié depuis 12 ans, mais à 38 ans, je me suis rendu il n'a pas été pour moi. Heureusement, nous ne disposons pas des enfants, car cela aurait rendu les choses plus compliquées.

Donc, je suis célibataire né de nouveau, et j'adore les femmes. Je suis sur la plupart des nuits, faire la fête et rencontrer de nouvelles personnes. J'aime montrant des femmes un bon moment - je ne veux pas installer. Je suis marié à mon travail et il vient en premier.

Je vis avec plaisir sur mon propre dans ma belle maison. Il est une garçonnière moderne avec un cinéma et des tas de gadgets state-of-the-art maison. Une femme serait seulement envie de venir et estampiller sa marque sur elle, et je ne veux pas que.

Je suis plus que confortable avec ma propre entreprise, et si je l'ai eu une longue journée de travail, je veux juste rentrer à la maison, fermer la porte et se détendre.

Pour moi, la vie est de passer du temps avec des amis, hommes et femmes. Comme beaucoup de gens qui ont réussi, me lier vers le bas pour une seule personne est pas ce que je veux ".

«LES FEMMES VEULENT JUSTE POUR VOUS TIE BAS '

Homme d'affaires John Mulkerrin, 39, a été célibataire pendant trois ans. Il vit dans le sud de Londres avec sa collection prisée de superbike.

JOHN, 39

«Parfois, je me réveille le matin et pense:« Par ce soir, je veux être en sirotant une bière fraîche à St Tropez. Donc, je saute sur mon vélo et je suis loin. Pour moi, le mariage et une famille freinerait le style de vie que j'aime.

Je n'ai pas de mal à trouver des copines. Je suis très romantique et j'aime fouettant les femmes hors des repas coûteux et week-ends.

Mais je tiens à préciser dès le départ que le mariage ne figure pas sur les cartes.

J'espère que les femmes ne seront pas lire ceci et pense que je suis un s absolu ***. Il est juste que je dois ma vie élaboré - Je suis parfaitement capable de cuisiner et nettoyer pour moi-même et je l'aime ma liberté.

Ma détermination à rester unique provient probablement de mes expériences antérieures. Jusqu'à ce que je suis 28 Je suis sorti seulement trois femmes, dont une femme, je me livrais à huit ans. Pendant que j'y étais avec elle, j'ai eu deux offres intéressantes à travailler à l'étranger, mais elle m'a voulu les tourner vers le bas. Je me sentais étouffé.

Donc, je partage avec elle et a voyagé autour de l'Asie. J'étais en Thaïlande lorsque le tsunami a frappé en 2004. Voyant la suite de cette tragédie m'a fait réaliser que la vie est trop courte pour ne pas suivre votre coeur. Elle a aussi m'a fait décider de mettre en place mon entreprise, qui trouve des fonds pour la charité.

Ma mère est désespérée pour moi de régler vers le bas, comme mes frères et sœurs. Mais je ne prends aucun préavis. Je pense que je suis un bon oncle, mais je suis toujours heureux de remettre mon neveu et nièces de retour! Ce serait bien d'avoir des enfants de mon propre une journée - mais le travail devrait se calmer d'abord.

Je sais que je ne rajeunis pas, mais je veux vraiment faire quelque chose d'utile pour aider les autres avant que je recherche un partenaire ".

A quarter of men now spend as much on grooming as us girls – so is it any wonder they’re competing in beauty pageants, too?

  We sent Laura Millar to find out more...

By Laura Millar, 15/08/2010

Alex Vreme has spent most of the morning with his top off. That's the way he likes it. "I love showing off," admits the construction worker from east London.

Dressed in just a trilby, sunglasses and snug-fitting trunks, he's preparing himself to take part in the first ever Mr UK beauty pageant. And Alex, 25, is here to win.

Nick Jackson adds the finishing touches

"I've got a good chance," he says modestly. "I look great in swimwear and evening wear, and I've got a good body from tae kwon do and boxing.

Just being here today is one of the most exciting things that has ever happened to me," he adds, flashing the kind of dazzling smile I imagine he's practised in his bathroom mirror. A lot.

Meanwhile, another contestant, airline worker Tom Swacha, 29, from north London, is hoping it's his hair that will catch the judges' eyes.

Shoulder-length and blond, I have to admit it looks a bit, well, limp. And greasy. Thomas won't be landing a shampoo ad any time soon, but at least his self-belief is unwavering. "The judges will definitely remember my hair," he insists. "And obviously my good looks will help." Obviously

For years, women have used beauty pageants as a springboard to modelling and acting careers (that's you, Halle Berry and Michelle Pfeiffer). But now men are waxing and fake tanning to bag their own pageant crown - and fast-track themselves to "fame".

Christoph Williams (right) won Best Hair

Mr UK's 29 finalists represent the crème de la crème of the 1,000 guys who sent their photos off in the hope they'd be shortlisted to take part in tonight's catwalk finale at the, ahem, glamorous Coal Exchange events venue in Cardiff.

Rob Reinaldo de-fuzzes Dan How

Here they will go through three rounds of strutting and pouting, sporting casual, evening and swimwear. But apparently Mr UK isn't just about looks. Oh no...

"We want our winner to be more than just a model," says competition co-founder Chloe Valentine, 21. "He needs to have charm, ambition, determination and good manners. He has to get across his personality to the judges on stage. If any of the applicants want to give something extra - like a little dance or some push-ups - that will help."

Dan's really cooking now!

Chloe had the tough task of whittling down the entrants based on their application forms, which list their achievements and ambitions. "A few sent in eye-watering photos," Chloe laughs. "There was more than one bare bum!"

After in-depth telephone interviews, where the arrogant or dull were weeded out, the shortlist was finalised.

Now the wannabes must face the judges - two execs from London-based modelling agency Gingersnap, Miss True Beauty 2010 Amy Lewis, and photographer and former model Rob Hollings. As well as a crowd of around 300 women.

"We're looking for that X factor," says Gingersnap's director Clare Wilson, 32. "We want someone with presence."

Backstage, in a cloud of biscuity fake tan and hairspray, the lads claim they have many reasons for wanting to win.

"Ten years ago, I weighed nearly 20st," says Thomas Murphy, 31. "I've worked hard to lose 4st. I used to be really shy, but appearing on stage tonight will prove that I'm not that fatty any more."

Chin up, Leo

Softly spoken Hindu cabinet maker Rahul Vaja, 25, also decided to take part in an attempt to raise his confidence. "I was so shy as a child," he says. "Making the shortlist was a huge boost. I've never had a girlfriend. Maybe now I'll be able to chat up women." Rahul read about the contest on the internet and entered after friends told him that, with his striking grey-green eyes, he could be a model.

But for every modest contestant, there is one who, well, isn't. Finance manager Roger Snipes, 31, would love to leave his stressful job and model full-time. He lifts his shirt to reveal an incredible washboard stomach, which, to be fair, is wasted under a suit.

Politics and philosophy graduate Chris Richards, 27, dreams of concentrating his brilliant mind on "anything in entertainment, really", while naked butler Christoph Williams, 22, hopes his gym-honed body will win him the swimwear round. "I wouldn't kick myself out of bed!" he laughs. I'll bet. If he was chocolate, he'd eat himself.

John Anthony Adams won best smile

Before the men are let loose on the public, Chloe puts them through their paces on the stage. "It's quite simple," she says optimistically. "Walk slowly down the catwalk, turn to the right and pose, turn to the left and pose, walk to the end and pose, then walk back to the top."

Harder than it sounds, it would seem, as the beefcakes begin to clump up and down the catwalk. Some find it easy, shooting steely gazes to the empty auditorium. Others forget to turn, walk too quickly or, perhaps unsurprisingly, linger too long in the spotlight.

With 'walking' practice over, the audience of proud mums, pageant WAGs and hen parties flood in. The WAGs are an excited bunch, dressed in heels and slinky dresses.

"I made my boyfriend enter," says beauty therapist Stephanie Williams, 22, who's been seeing kick-boxing instructor David North, 24, for two years. "He's gorgeous with a great personality, so he's definitely going to win," she adds. "I don't mind other girls screaming over him - he's fit. I'd be worried if they didn't!"

Craig Mark Bowden can lift two chairs - wow

Kelly Lloyd, 23, has been seeing student teacher John Anthony Adams, 22, for two years. "He's got the loveliest, cheekiest smile," she raves. "I had to do his fake tan in the car park earlier. He always takes longer than me to get ready."

Laura Jane Cooper, 18, is the girlfriend of events executive Nick Jackson, 21. "I wish there was a talent section," she sighs. "He does magic tricks and I just know that would impress the judges."

Backstage, the men are coming over all Miss Congeniality, sizing up the competition as they apply last-minute slicks of tooth-whitening paste.

"Why don't you tuck your top into your jeans?" one guy suggests to a rival. "It emphasises your waist."

The preparation for tonight has been intense. "I've been in the gym every day," says Rob Reinaldo, 28, flexing his pecs. He's also been eating a daily diet of 1.5lb of grilled chicken, 2lb grilled salmon, 1lb seafood, 24 egg whites, one pack of rice cakes and 15 litres of water. That's dedication.

Personal trainer Dan came third

As the music - I Gotta Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas - starts pounding, it's show time. Chloe and her co-host Rob Lamarr introduce the boys. The crowd cheer and whoop.

Nerves are kicking in, but the men complete their catwalk strut like pros. Well, extras from spoof modelling flick Zoolander anyway. Initial front-runners - judging by the audience reaction - are Roger Snipes, David North and personal trainer Dan How, 24 (think Jason Statham on steroids. Not that Dan is).

There's a 20-minute frenzy backstage before the swimwear round. Disposable razors are produced for last-minute chest and back shaving, and the boys lift whatever they can to pump their muscles - chairs, tables, fire extinguishers...

James Pitt modelled his way to second place

As It's Raining Men booms out, the lads do their best to show the crowd what they've got, in everything from skin-tight Speedos to board shorts and trunks. The hens are beside themselves. This is the round they've been waiting for, judging by the pile of (clean) knickers they've brought along.

David North steps out of his board shorts to reveal a pair of snug-fitting trunks to wild wolf whistles. And by the time Dan How comes on in a pair of eye-watering trunks patriotically emblazoned with the Union Jack, the front row are in a total frenzy, pelting the stage with a hail of frilly underwear.

In the final evening-wear round, the boys pull out all the stops. From classic tuxedos to a Saturday Night Fever white suit, they all look suave, in a cheesy wannabe 007 way.

But who's impressed the judges most? Half an hour later, the votes are in. They line up nervously and wait for the results.

Winner Roger shows off his bod

Thomas Murphy gets Best Dressed based on his natty, '20s-style white smoking jacket. Cutie John Anthony Adams wins Best Smile, while David North is voted Most Charming for his friendly attitude. The others congratulate them, all secretly hoping they're going to win the big prize.

Dan How comes third and aspiring model James Pitt, 22, from Bournemouth, is second, despite his hair being as big as Jedward's. But the winner has something they didn't: rock-hard abs. Yes, Mr UK 2010 is Roger Snipes, 31, who looks stunned as the sash is draped around his neck.

His wife Zuzana, 27, an administrator from Slovakia, is beside herself. "I knew he'd win, he's got such an amazing chest!" she squeals. "Oh, and he's a lovely, lovely person."

Roger Snipes is crowned Mr UK

That's more like it, boys. Who needs a sash anyway? As Roger and Zuzana crack open the champagne, the other contestants shuffle backstage. Packing up their straighteners and tinted moisturiser, disappointment hangs in the air. "Let's go for a pint," one failed contestant suggests.

Craig and John meet their adoring fans

Transgender - Maritza Perdomo

Maritza Perdomo hated her body so much, she wanted to kill herself. But a drastic decision changed her life . . .

When Maritza Perdomo was born, her mother Haydee was overjoyed. For a long time, she'd been trying for a baby and finally her dreams had come true.

But as her daughter grew up, it became clear that Maritza was different to other little girls. She lived in trousers and played with toy guns. And, as
the years passed, her boyish tendencies grew. Maritza began to believe that she was actually a boy.

It wasn't until 30 years later that she discovered a name for what she was feeling - gender dysphoria, where sufferers feel trapped in the wrong body. The remarkable discovery had dramatic consequences for Maritza who, aged 39, went on to have a sex change and become Mark Cummings.

"I was my parents' first child of three," says Mark, now 41 and living in Florida. "Mum loved buying me dresses - the frillier the better as far as she was concerned. But every time I put them on, I felt uncomfortable - like a boy trapped in a girl's body.

"I remember standing awkwardly in front of the mirror one day, before breaking down in tears. It was like staring at someone else and I didn't know why. All I wanted to do was wear shorts or trousers and, of course, no top.

"My parents soon noticed my peculiar ways and started buying me more and more dolls to try and turn my head. It didn't work. If anything, it made me
want to rebel more."

As Mark entered his teens, he became horrified by his developing body. "It was a disgusting feeling, developing breasts," Mark explains. "I just wanted to get rid of them and, one night, I even considered cutting them off. It was the lowest I'd ever felt.

"Going through the menstrual cycle was also devastating and completely alien to me. I kept thinking in my head, 'But I'm a boy, I'm a boy.'"

Mark found he was attracted to women and, at the age of 17, had a brief affair with another girl. But the relationship didn't last because of his lover's disgruntled parents. Feeling lonely with nowhere to turn, Mark forced himself to find love with a man. Aged 26, he met Fred, a bus driver from Kent, and shared a brief two-year marriage.

"Back then, I would have done anything to fit in and conform to what I was supposed to be like," says Mark. "My family already feared I was a lesbian,
so because of all the bad feeling, I tried hard to be 'normal'."

But the marriage was later annulled because Mark chose to remain a virgin and destroyed all photos of them as a couple. Mark moved back to America, where he took up female amateur bodybuilding and started taking steroids. And he was thrilled as he became more masculine.

"At first, I posed in a bikini with fake tan, but it still didn't feel right," he says. "The steroids caused me to develop facial hair, which I shaved off. I also developed powerful muscles. I adopted a cropped haircut, making me look more like a man, and tried to disguise my breasts by wearing baggy T-shirts."

However, without a girlfriend, Mark became depressed. But then he met Violet.

"I was working out in the gym when she came over," Mark remembers. "She admitted that she couldn't tell whether I was a man or woman, so came over to find out. I loved her honesty and we immediately became close. She seemed to be the only person who understood me.

"She'd been married twice before so I didn't think she'd be interested in me as a partner, but after too many drinks one night, we ended up kissing. It was amazing."

Violet, 41, agrees. "I didn't plan on it happening," she says. "I'm heterosexual and have never fancied girls. But back then, Mark was on steroids and looked like a guy. We clicked and I found myself falling for him."

The couple tied the knot in August 2003, but the marriage wasn't recognised because Mark was still a woman. For the next four months, they endured strange looks and snide comments from people on the street, until Mark decided to put an end to their pain.

"I wanted to get closer to Violet and bring a little bit of peace to our lives," he says. "Then someone in the gym suggested I might be transgender - trapped in the wrong body. I checked on the internet and realised that a sex change would be the solution. Until then, I didn't even know it was possible to change sex.

"I had to see a psychologist before I was given the go-ahead but there was no doubt in my mind. I was ready to do this."

In December 2003, Mark underwent a seven-hour operation to become a man, selling his house to raise £10,000 for the procedure. Surgeons removed Mark's breasts, ovaries and womb, then grafted his nipples down to size.

He was put on a weekly dose of testosterone to add more hair, alter his body shape and deepen his voice. It also triggered glands in his clitoris to achieve the growth of a two-inch penis. Mark has since celebrated his transformation by legally marrying Violet in a courthouse in Hollywood, Florida.

"Mark is such a loving and considerate person," beams Violet. "I didn't care that he didn't have a penis at the beginning but obviously now I'm chuffed to bits."

"I've finally achieved my dream," says Mark. "I used to be a prisoner in my own body but now I'm free."

SEX SURVEY: Poll shows girls are mad for sex at work

Good lay at the office dear?

By Rachel Spencer & Matthew Acton

GO-GETTING career women have finally got sexual equality—they're getting almost as much sex at work as the fellas!

According to the News of the World's Great British Sex Survey 2005, a whopping 30 per cent of women and 41 per cent of men have romped in the office.

Randy male bosses are still seducing their secretaries but, our survey shows, these days women are just as happy to mix business with pleasure.

Sexual behaviour expert Dr Lenny Kristal, who analysed the results, said: "When people work together they end up spending more time together than they do with their partners at home.

"So if a person's sex life has got stale and boring, then having fresh, fun people around all day makes it an easy step to have an office fling.

"And women are showing much greater self-confidence in expressing their sexual desires. In fact they even appear to be overtaking men in many sexual activities and attitudes."

RISKY

Our new figures show a huge jump in sexual activity from the last time we carried out the survey 12 years ago.

Of the 5,500 people who took part, more than half of the girls confessed to a one-night stand.

And 43 per cent of women held their hands up to cheating—mostly with people from work.

ONE-NIGHT STAND

PRETTY Gemma Heywood enjoyed a passionate fling with a married high flyer during a conference at a top hotel in Newcastle.

The 24-year-old web worker told how the smooth-talking MD wooed her with fizz, foie gras and fine food. She said: "I don't mind telling you I was easy prey and it was amazing. He's obviously had lots of experience."

But she says the best thing was knowing it was a one-off with no strings attached.

THE EXHIBITIONIST

TELESALES girl Verena Dunn used to be teased by the lads in the office for being so shy.

Little did they know she once put on an X-rated show for passers-by in Manchester as she had sex at her desk!

Verena, 27, from Oldham, Lancs, said: "Everyone at work used to think I was a real prude but after a boozy party I took my ex-boyfriend back to the office and we had wild sex against the huge glass windows.

"There were lots of people outside and it was such a turn-on."

LOVE CHEAT

SEXY Michelle Butterworth did what millions of folk have done — had a fling with a married colleague at a Christmas party in Stockport, Cheshire.

But her drunken romp turned into a six-month steamy affair. The 26-year-old receptionist said: "I went outside with a solicitor I fancied.

"I plucked up the courage to kiss him then dragged him to a corner and we had sex standing up."

The fling lasted until Michelle grew fed up of sneaking around.

I HAD 70 MEN

POSH totty Lisa Lever, from Romford, Essex, admits she's a sex addict.

The middle-class blonde beds a new man every weekend and has at least 70 notches on her bed post.

Gym worker Lisa, 24, who had her boobs boosted from a B to a D, said: "I'm addicted to sex. The longest I've gone without is a week.

"I'm a single girl and I might as well do it while I can. I won't be able to do it when I'm married."