Test. The more dead-end dates you have, the more you reckon that guys are from a different galaxy...

Stuck on the dating dark side? The more dead-end dates you have, the more you reckon that guys are from a different galaxy... What you need is a technique tweak

By Beth Gibbons, 03/10/2010

So, you've exhausted all your favourite bars and clubs, and have gone through all available friends of friends. And you don't know what's hotter - your credit card after the number of date outfits you've splashed out on, or your laptop thanks to all that online dating.

Yet no matter how hard you look for love nothing, nil, nada. "If dating isn't working, women often blame their appearance," says dating expert James Preece, aka The Dating Guru. "But it's more likely to be your technique that's in need of a makeover, not your wardrobe."

So, take our quiz, perfect your pulling persona and get lucky tonight!

SECTION A

1. Describe your supermarket shopping style

a) Straight in and out. You only go off-list for a half-price wine bargain. (2)

b) Tummy-led. You often shop when you're hungry and want everything! (1)

c) A mission. You can never decide what you want, so you trawl the aisles but end up with the usual favourites. (3)

2. You've got a date next Saturday. How's the outfit plan going?

a) You panic-bought three new LBDs but don't love any of them. And you feel guilty for blowing your pay packet. (3)

b) You'll just glam up your old favourite with lippy and eyeliner. (2)

c) The faithful jeans, dressy top and heels combo. Sexy, but not too sexy. (1)

3. A guy that ticks all your boxes walks into the bar. How do you react?

a) Down your wine and strut over. You don't want another girl getting in there first. (2)

b) Look over a couple of times, then leave it - otherwise you might come across as a desperado. (3)

c) Flash him a come-say-hi smile and pray he likes you. (1)

4. How do you behave in the Topshop changing room?

a) You won't try on a top unless you really like it. (3)

b) You take armfuls of clothes in - surely one item's got to work, right? (2)

c) You've got into the habit of buying clothes without even trying them on. (1)

5. Sex on the first date. A do or a don't?

a) Do. If you really 'click', why wait? (1)

b) Maybe. You'd usually keep it to a snog - but, you know, sometimes these things happen. (2)

c) Don't. You try not to even kiss guys on date one. (3)

6. You thought a date went well, but he hasn't texted you. How do you feel?

a) You take it personally - there was obviously something he didn't like about you. (1)

b) The chemistry just wasn't there between you. (2)

c) What a loser. You lowered your standards to see him. (3)

45% of men will fancy you less if you mention your weight or that you're on a diet*

SECTION B

Tick the statements that ring true:

You can tell a lot about a man from his star sign. (1)

I've been told that I talk too much at times. (2)

I'm guilty of seeing my exes through rose-tinted glasses. (3)

I'm very much a glass-half-full kinda girl. (1)

I'd cancel a date at short notice - even an hour before - if I had any doubts. (3)

I get bored quite easily in my own company. (2)

35 smiles an hour will lead to four men on average approaching you**

Add up your score for your pulling persona

0-10 You'll date anyone on this planet (or the next)

You hang off his every sentence and are so busy fantasising about saying: "I do" that you often see the relationship as what you want it to be, rather than what it actually is.

What you're doing right: "Seeing the best in people means you're open to relationships," says dating expert James Preece. "Too many women dismiss guys after a date, when research shows it can take weeks to fall in love."

What you're doing wrong: You're so desperate to be with someone that you read too much into little things like his star sign. You want to make him like you and virtually offer yourself on a plate within hours of meeting.

Pull tonight! "Don't be too eager," says James, adding: "Texting too soon after a date is a classic sign." Swap online dating (where you're likely to obsess over every email) for group social events - find one at Citysocialising.com.

11-20 You're a bounty (or rather, booty!) hunter

When it comes to dating you're one dedicated girl - racking up more face-to-face dating time than Paris Hilton on the pull. So why haven't you met a half-decent bloke yet?

What you're doing right: "Meeting Mr Right is a numbers game, so putting yourself out there definitely increases your chances of finding him," says dating expert Rochelle Peachy.

What you're doing wrong: Your sergeant major-style mission to meet a man can come across as a tad, erm, aggressive! Pouncing on him from across the bar and grilling him on everything from his dating history to whether he wants kids can make it feel like a scary interview.

Pull tonight! Actually, maybe not tonight. "Have a break from dating - you'll come back to it feeling more positive," says Dr Gian Gonzaga from dating website Eharmony.com. "When you do find someone you like, relax and avoid being full-on," warns dating guru James Preece.

21+ You're not feeling the force. Ever

You spend your life browsing, but always come home empty-handed. Is your huge checklist holding you back?

What you're doing right: You value yourself and have high standards, so there's no chance of you settling with someone for the sake of it.

What you're doing wrong: You dismiss guys for the slightest thing (too much gel, bad shoes) and they pick up the signs. Your frosty body language screams: "I don't want to be here!" No wonder dates are thin on the ground.

Pull tonight! Scrap that list. "If he makes you laugh, surely it doesn't matter that he has a penchant for cheap shoes," says dating expert Rochelle Peachy. To keep your standards and avoid ending up on the shelf, Andrew Trees, author of Decoding Love, recommends his 'dozen rule'. So, instead of searching for The One (which Trees says is a myth), after dating a dozen men you like, you should find that the next person you date (and like) is a good fit.

The ‘Hold on to your man’ plan

Whether you've been together for weeks or years, make sure your love life rocks, not rots

By Marie Mason, 01/08/2015

Be it so-so sex, an annoying habit or something more serious, every couple - from those in the first-month flushes to more settled love-things - have moments when they question whether they're in the right relationship and are perfect for each other.

When these niggles strike, it's easy to feel like the only answer is to throw in the towel, down enough cocktails to sink a small island, then take off with a hot 21 year old! But step away from the Daiquiris and dating websites - experts believe there's always a way to work out whether what you've got is worth it and if so, how to work on it.

"From the moment you meet, you have to realise that relationships are living things that need looking after otherwise they'll wither and die - like a plant," says Andrew G Marshall, author of I Love You But I'm Not In Love With You: Seven Steps To Saving Your Relationship (Bloomsbury, £8.99). Take our test to find out how to keep your love life sparky...

THE BLANKETY BLANK TEST

Fill in the blanks, then add up the numbers

I am happy with my man ___ per cent of the time and I'm ___ per cent sure that he is The One. Off the top of my head I can think of ___ things I love about him, and on a scale of 1-5 (5 being best), I'd give him ___ for romance, ___ for attractiveness and ___ for being a great listener. When we're together, he makes me laugh about ___ times. I'd give our sex life a ___ out of 10; since getting together we've tried ___ new things in bed. When it comes to our social life, we share ___ hobbies and interests, and we've done ___ cool things together.

If you get over 170: score 2pts

Over 100: score 4pts

Under 100: score 8pts

THE 'TRUE OR FALSE' TEST

Pick True or False for each statement

1 We've got lots in common

2 Most arguments are laughed off or resolved

3 Our relationship is 'normal'

4 I discuss problems with him before my pals

5 What we've got doesn't feel rocky

6 Being together can be exhausting

7 We often speak to each other badly

8 He often strops off if we argue

9 I'm frightened of speaking my mind

10 Sometimes I find sex a chore

Add up your total.

Qs 1-5: score 0pts for True and 5pts for False

Qs 6-10: score 5pts for True and 0pts for False

THE EMOTIONS TEST

Think about your relationship in the last month and record the extent you felt the following emotions. Circle the number that applies to you.

Score the number of points you've circled in each line and add up your total.

SCORE: 36 AND UNDER

Joined at the hip

A stable couple, most of the time you're loved-up - sharing hobbies, hot sex and a wicked sense of humour. Then out of nowhere you hit the occasional rocky patch. "Play detective," advises Andrew. "Track back to the point you were knocked off course and understand the cause. Was it job stress? Spending less time together? Ask yourselves: 'What have we stopped doing that we need to start redoing?' Then recycle the things that worked for you in the past. Reliving a holiday is perfect but it's less about grand gestures and more about small changes - like eating together each night and talking." And when you are back on track? Ensure you don't live in each other's pockets: it's damaging. "Very 'together' couples easily go stale," says Andrew. "Closeness and distance is needed for good sex, so enjoy 'me' time."

SCORE: 37-71

Having a blip

You two passionistas love each other but you argue lots, wasting time on bickering about trivial things when you could be having fun. "Niggling couples usually have underlying issues in their relationship which need bringing into the open," says Andrew. "Next time you're arguing about something stupid, stop and ask: 'What is the real problem here?'" Say why you're really angry with each other and aim to reduce the number of things you're rowing about. "These types of couples often cross-complain," says Andrew. "So a row that started about her working too much becomes one about him not being tidy. Deal with one issue at once. And if you're going round in circles, consider issues from the past. Most arguments are 80 per cent about the past and 20 per cent about the present." Stop, look back, then sit down and talk issues through rather than niggling about things that don't matter.

SCORE: 72 AND OVER

Letting it slip

Chances are you've been together a while and your once-strong spark's feeling flat and you're spiralling towards those magic words: "I love you but I'm not in love with you." For a chance of survival, you'll have to speak up. "Couples in this situation end up passionless as they haven't argued enough," says Andrew. "They've swallowed their discontent, saying things don't matter when they do - remember, you don't have to agree on everything." And if you've grown and changed, tell your partner. Don't just say: "We've grown apart, we've changed, goodbye!" Say: "I've changed, I want our relationship to change." To renew your relationship Andrew suggests putting a fresh perspective on your problems. "Do something challenging or different within your relationship - from going to a new pub to learning a language together - and look at life through new eyes. Then talk about how things can be different, rather than where you've gone wrong."

Can an apple a day keep the weight away?

We tested the wackiest diet tricks for one month, with surprising results

By Michele O’Connor, 10/01/2017

WACKY WEIGHT LOSS 1: EAT AN APPLE BEFORE EVERY MEAL

Rid your fridge of naughty treats and get some Granny Smiths in there instead! Munching on an apple before dinner means the pectin (fibre) it contains turns into a sticky gel in the stomach, and stops the body from absorbing sugar too quickly, according to a study at Cambridge University. "Apples are a low-energy, high-fibre food, so will fill you up and prevent overeating during your meals," explains dietician Ursula Arens.

TESTED BY: Jo Beck, 37, a consumer service officer from Nottingham.

"The stress of moving house has meant I've put on t in the last few weeks. I like apples, but it did feel weird munching on one before I could join the rest of the family for dinner. It really took the edge off my appetite, though. I normally have at least two chocolate bars a day, but the fruit curbed my cravings and, amazingly, I ate none at all.

But lots of apples can make you a bit windy - and you can get easily bored with them. It's an easy weight-loss tip that I'll continue, but I'll try eating oranges or bananas before meals to mix things up."

WEIGHT BEFORE: 9st 7lb

DRESS SIZE: 12

WEIGHT AFTER: 9st 2lb

DRESS SIZE: 10

WEIGHT LOST: 5lb

VERDICT: 8/10

WACKY WEIGHT LOSS 2: DRINK WATER BEFORE EVERY MEAL

According to experts, many of us mistake hunger for thirst, so the theory is that gulping down a glass of water before every meal will stop us overeating when we get to the table. "There's some research to support this, but it isn't a long-term weight loss method," warns Ursula. "Water leaves the stomach very quickly, so feelings of fullness don't last long."

TESTED BY: Lucy Andrews, 26, a PR from Hampshire.

"My diet is usually healthy - a big bowl of Alpen for breakfast, houmous, carrots and salad for lunch; and meat or fish with veg for dinner - but thanks to lots of takeaways, I've put on 8lb in the past nine months.

Drinking two glasses of water before every meal sounds easy, but I knew I'd struggle as I'm not a fan of plain water. It took a bit of getting used to, but it did fill me up. I definitely ate less, didn't snack between meals, had more energy and felt less dehydrated.

By week three, I was cheating a bit and drinking squash instead, and the downside was frequent trips to the loo. But I was delighted to find I can now get into a size 10."

WEIGHT BEFORE: 10st 8lb

DRESS SIZE: 12

WEIGHT AFTER: 10st 1lb

DRESS SIZE: 10-12

WEIGHT LOST: 7lb

VERDICT: 9/10

WACKY WEIGHT LOSS 3: JOT DOWN EVERYTHING YOU EAT

A recent study in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine found slimmers who kept a food diary lost twice as much weight as those who didn't. "Keeping a record is a useful awareness exercise, especially if you set yourself targets like eating more fruit and veg," explains Ursula.

TESTED BY: Cassandra Holmes, 33, an events organiser from Lincolnshire.

"I'm a size 12, but am rapidly heading towards a 14, and I'm sick of sucking my stomach in! Keeping a diary was an eye-opener - I was shocked by how much I ate on some days. I tend to snack on crisps and chocolate, but didn't realise quite how much until I had to keep a record.

Although keeping a food diary didn't stop me having treats, I did try to make the 'naughty' things last longer as I felt a bit guilty writing them down - so I ate fewer of them. I can't say it made me change my habits dramatically, though, and I put my weight loss down to extra walking I was doing. It might work better for those with more of a conscience!"

WEIGHT BEFORE: 10st 13lb

DRESS SIZE: 12

WEIGHT AFTER: 10st 8lb

DRESS SIZE: 12

WEIGHT LOST: 5lb

VERDICT: 2/10

WACKY WEIGHT LOSS 4: CHEW MORE SLOWLY

Do you eat dinner in front of Corrie and find you've finished before the first ad break? This could be why you're piling

on the pounds, warn scientists from Imperial College, London. They believe eating quickly stops the release of a hormone that tells your brain you've had enough. "It takes 20 minutes for your brain to register you're full, and the average meal lasts around 10 minutes, so it makes sense to slow down a bit," says weight-loss expert Ali Campbell.

TESTED BY: Linda Uvah, 27, a bank worker from Coventry.

"I want to get into a dress I've had my eye on, so the idea of eating the same food as usual, just more slowly, sounded appealing.

I thought it was going to be easy, but slowly chewing everything 10 times made my jaw ache and meant my usual 10-minute meal lasted three times as long. However, I did savour my food more and found I ate less at mealtimes - mainly because everyone else had finished long before me, and my food was cold! I felt embarrassed that everyone was waiting for me, but I shouldn't have worried as now I can wear a smaller size without a drastic diet overhaul!"

WEIGHT BEFORE: 10st 9lb

DRESS SIZE: 12

WEIGHT AFTER: 10st 3lb

DRESS SIZE: 10-12

WEIGHT LOST: 6lb

VERDICT: 6/10

WACKY WEIGHT LOSS 5: HAVE A BANANNA FOR BREAKFAST

Whether you're a 'coffee and muffin' girl or the 'full English' kind, what you eat first thing can make a difference to your bulge battles. The Japanese 'Morning Banana Diet' involves eating a banana and drinking a glass of water for breakfast. You can have a normal lunch and dinner, but can't eat after 8pm or have desserts. "Bananas are a healthy breakfast, but no more so than a bowl of cereal or porridge," says Ursula. "And you're likely to be hungry by mid-morning."

TESTED BY: KIM JOHNSON, 42, AN INTERNET ENTREPRENEUR FROM SHEFFIELD.

"I lost 2st for my 40th birthday, but the weight has slowly crept back on. I usually skip breakfast, so eating first thing was new to me.

I was really motivated for the first couple of weeks, but the novelty wore off when I got bored with bananas. And it was hard not eating after 8pm as I often get in late and eat after I've put my child to bed. On the plus side, it made a huge difference to my digestive system - no more constipation! As diets go, this was easy, so I was thrilled to lose t and will keep it up."

WEIGHT BEFORE: 11st 8lb

DRESS SIZE: 14 top, 12 bottom

WEIGHT AFTER: 11st 1lb

DRESS SIZE: 14 top, 10 bottom

WEIGHT LOST: 7lb

VERDICT: 8/10

How to Cheat a Lie-Detector Test

There’s a reason why polygraph results are not allowed as court evidencein most laws. And for good reason. So unless you have a potential in-law who’s like Robert de Niro’s character in Meet the Parents, then there’s no need to worry.

In any case, you can always cheat your way through a polygraph test. Here are to routes to beat that test:

• Keep you cool
  Lie-detectors are designed to pick up non-verbal physical clues such as increased heart rates and pupil dilations but these are not enough to judge how true your words are. If you’re a pretty good poker player and can keep your cool and be calm all through out, then the machine will not be able to find any irregularities. But you should be an Oscar-deserving actor to pull this off. Either that or you’re a rock.
• Overreact at every point
  Another route that you can take is to exaggerate at every response. The test is designed to have control questions. These are designed to elicit obvious responses like your name, or if the sky is green (to which you reply “No”). This will be their basis in seeing “spikes” or irregularities in the test.
  Overreacting to every response will give the polygraph varying readings whether it’s a control question or not. Since you’ve messed with the controls, they wouldn’t have anything to base their readings on. You can even prick yourself with a pin or needle so to that your body will give off heightened signals due to reflex.