Mrs Blobby's secret hobby
By Dominic Herbert & James Millbank
NOEL Edmonds—the TV legend who gave the world Mr Blobby—had no idea his wife was having a wild secret fling with her kinky Pilates fitness instructor.
For three months Helen, 41, carried on with bisexual transvestite Stuart Lord behind her husband's back.
And when 56-year-old Noel—one of the biggest names in telly history —last week announced their 18-year marriage was over, both stressed there was NOBODY else involved.
But today we reveal how horse-breeder Helen's lover, cross-dressing bondage fan Lord, 41, has boasted how he:
BEDDED her after initiating her into his trendy gym routine,
FROLICKED in the hay with her in the Devon countryside,
ROMPED naked with her on windswept Dartmoor, and
TOLD her all about his weird fetishes for rubberwear, women's clothing and gay sex.
Upsets
Our revelations are sure to devastate Noel — the former DJ who became a multi-millionaire with TV hits like Noel's House Party, set in make-believe Crinkley Bottom with blubbery pink mascot Mr Blobby.
The truth came out when Lord's suspicious long-term girlfriend Sarah Dyson challenged him and he confessed all.
Devastated Sarah, 52, revealed: "Stuart told me they had sex all over the place, in vehicles, in a car park on the moor. Yes, it was full-on.
"What really upsets me is that Helen Edmonds has such a prim and proper image in her area and enjoyed being the wife of Noel, a respectable household name.
"Although Stuart said Helen told him she hadn't slept with Noel for two years and they were virtually separated anyway, she was still desperate to keep the affair quiet.
"She didn't care about me, though. All along she knew about me, that I was being cheated, and that makes me angry. I'm sure Noel will be shocked, too, to find out what was really going on—and the sort of stuff his wife's lover is into, group sex and wearing girlie knickers, stockings and everything. It really turns him on. He's spent hours looking at himself in the mirror all dressed up.
"He's been to fetish parties like that. We'd hold the parties at my place or friends' homes. He also loved rubber, being tied up, whipped, spanked, wearing nipple clamps, basically everything. He even had a thing about clingfilm.
"I've seen him snogging blokes and he's told me how he had sex with men. Stuart liked to be dominated, too, and he's told me he enjoyed sex with strangers and liked people watching.
"I didn't mind all that. I had no problem with his sex life but I didn't expect him to have an affair."
Mum-of-four Helen, Noel's second wife, met children's charity worker Lord in September when they were introduced by a mutual friend just after he qualified in Pilates—the trendy stretching fitness regime favoured by Cherie Blair.
He had lived with music teacher Sarah in Teignmouth for four years and was seen as a pillar of the community.
Buzz
Soon Lord started visiting the 855-acre Edmonds estate in nearby Jacobstowe to give Helen private £30-an-hour sessions. For the first month Stuart told Sarah that he never met entrepreneur Noel, who was often away on business.
Sarah said: "He got a buzz out of it. He was very impressed with their 36-room house and the fact she was the wife of a celebrity. He even joked about how he might become stud to the stars.
"There's a lot of innuendo with Pilates because most exercises centre on the genital area. But although Stuart was giving Helen private lessons I didn't think anything of it.
"Then he started going to their house quite a lot. And a few odd things were happening.
"When his car broke down she gave him a very nice 4x4 for a week. I thought that was very strange. And after the first couple of sessions the cheques weren't coming in, so how was she paying for the tuition?
"I then found a text message from Helen. It was very innocent but I thought it was strange she was texting him. He was spending more and more time away from my home. So I jokingly asked if he was having an affair with Helen and he denied it."
Then another text message on Lord's mobile convinced her that he was having a fling with regular churchgoer Helen. It read: "The Vestal Virgin leaving choir practice is ready to be corrupted by a tall dark handsome man."
Stuart still denied it. But eventually on Christmas Eve he cracked and tearfully confessed.
The couple had a blazing row in which 5ft 2ins Sarah lashed out and scratched 5ft 11ins Lord's face before throwing him out.
Three days later Lord and Sarah met again and he calmly told her the steamy details of the affair.
Sarah said: "He admitted that within weeks of starting sessions with Helen they couldn't keep their hands off each other. They were having full sex after about a month.
"I don't know what's been going on with the Edmonds' marriage but it does seem very sad for Noel."
Noel has not been on screen very much since the House Party was axed in 1999. But he agreed a handsome BBC pay-off and then proved he was an astute businessman.
Jilted
Last July he was named Deputy Lord-Lieutenant of Devon, representing the Queen at functions around the county.
His love rival's jilted ex, Sarah, told us: "Although Helen didn't tell Stuart she would leave Noel for him she certainly gave the impression that they had a future—but it would have to stay secret for some time."
Last night Helen told the News of the World: "When I met Stuart it soon became apparent that he was having difficulties in his relationship with Sarah.
"Stuart is a free spirit but as to his tastes all I can say is he never wore a dress when he was teaching me Pilates or on the squash court.
"He left Sarah at Christmas. She became violent towards him.
"I believe he made certain embellishments to appease her. Sarah is clearly very upset and has chosen to be spiteful, vindictive and attempt to destroy other people's lives.
"These revelations have come as a huge shock to my husband Noel and my family. We are shortly to divorce after our two years of separation and I stand by our original statement that no-one else was involved in that decision. Our primary concern is our children."
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