Five Alternative Career Choices for a Pirate

A article offering five alternative jobs for a pirate.
It’s been an extremely hard time for pirates of late.  Not those of the Somalia variety – but those of the yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum variety.

The days of  sailing the high seas in search of hidden treasure are long gone – all the gold has been sold to Cash4Gold, the price of grog has gone sky high and unemployment is at an all time high.  So what’s a pirate to do?
Well if Blackbeard was to visit his local job centre, I’m sure that he’d find one of the following alternative careers just as satisfying as piracy.
1.   Banker

Being a banker nowadays is a form of legal piracy!  The amount of money badly invested, the billions of dollars paid to bail out bankers and now the argument over whether the bankers should be paid a bonus..  This is an ideal job for an out of work pirate!
2. Politician

Being a politician in the UK is a great way of getting your mitts on all the booty you need – just simply fill out an expenditure claim form!  All the worldly goods you ever wanted can be yours at the tax payers expense!
3. Inland Revenue/IRS

If a pirate was to set up is own version of the Inland Revenue or IRS, they would be made for life.  Tax people on their wage, on their food, on their fuel – in fact almost everything.  Who needs a crumby old pirate ship – they could afford a luxury yacht with a helipad.
4. Solicitor

If a pirate misses the sense of adventure that he experiences on the high seas – why not become a solicitor?  You could get paid a stack of money, to represent all the bad ass criminals out there.  Working with the scourge of the nation and getting money at the same time – perfect job!
5. Utility/Petrochemical Company


Gas, electricity, water, oil – the new treasure to own, far more valuable than gold, rubies or diamonds.   A pirate should get a job here – work his way up through the ranks, until he’s the CEO.  Then simply set the charges at extortionate rates and slowly take control of the world.
Perhaps the reason that the world is in such a bad state, is that the Pirate’s of the world, have already been employed in the above positions…