I drove my kid sister to Kennedy yesterday.
It was a cool Florida spring, so we drove with the windows down. I could smell the ocean. Kathy looked silently out the passenger window, cupping her right hand against the buffeting wind, gazing at the fluffy clouds that crawled across the early morning sky. This was the last time she would see the clouds of Earth.
As we drove up to the gate, gravel hissing under the tires, I could see one of the new shuttles sitting on the runway. The Express, they call it. Soon it would take her up to the orbiting starship, bound for Alpha Centauri.
#
I was two years older than Kathy, but she was smarter – much smarter. I was no slouch, mind you, but Kathy came along right behind me, trumping every accomplishment with ease. I was on the Dean’s list; she got a 4.0. I was All-State in baseball; she pitched in the State Championship. I resented her bitterly, and was petty and cruel to her when we were kids. But, as we grew up, I saw that she persevered with an innocent grace I found impossible to hate. She never put on airs, never touted herself above others, never downplayed my accomplishments. As a matter of fact, she was often embarrassed for me at how people fawned over her. She went out of her way to include my victories in dinnertime conversation, or among her friends. Eventually I realized that I had inherited the same fine traits she had – intelligence, wit, athleticism – but she truly had the best qualities of both our parents. Such a rare gift of genius that I made up my mind never to be jealous of her again.
After that it was great between us. I grew prouder of her than if she had been my own child, rather than my little sister. When she graduated from high school she really went into overdrive. MIT and Berkeley on scholarships. Two doctorates. Research grants. Patents. Then her years in orbit and on the Moon. My kid sister! Funny how I still thought of her that way, though we had both advanced well into middle age.
But always, through the grown-up years, regardless of how busy she was, she would keep in touch, come see us when she could. Kathy never had time for a family of her own. So, I had the life she never allowed for herself. I had a wonderful marriage, a successful career, kids – boy, the kids were crazy for Sis. We saw each other once a year or so, usually for only a day at a time, but it was great. She was so alive, so bright, so ambitious - and so happy. It hurt every time she left, especially after Mom and Dad passed away, but every time I knew there would be a next time. Maybe a year, maybe two, but always a next time. Even the Moon wasn’t too far away for her to come back once in a while. In between visits, I would see her on TV or in a magazine, but then it was the world’s Dr. Katherine Grey, not my Kathy. Nothing could substitute for the times we were together. We would talk, just the two of us, early in the morning, over coffee, while everyone else was still asleep. She’d catch up on what the kids were doing, or how my work was going. And I’d hear all about her adventures and her research. Half the time I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about, but I just nodded my head and was glad for her.
Then, finally, she was selected. My Sis would be one of 250 people who would travel to Alpha Centauri to form the first colony there. Kathy says it’s 4.3 light years away. Twenty-five million million miles. No chance, ever, for another goodbye.
#
Kathy flashed a badge to the guards, and we drove slowly up to a low, colorless dormitory. Neither one of us spoke. I parked, and we got out. She didn’t have any luggage – only a small case with some family items I’d collected for her.
“Well...” she said, smiling nervously.
“Well...” I echoed, and then we hugged each other desperately. I patted her shoulders with one hand, fighting back tears. After a few seconds we held each other out at arm’s length.
“You take care,” was all I could muster.
“You too, Jimmy,” she said hoarsely. Her eyes were red; the corners of her mouth turned down. Neither of us had the courage to say much beyond that.
Abruptly, she turned on her heel and headed for the dorm. At the entry, she spun back toward me, raising one small hand, palm forward as she took the last few steps backward. I returned the gesture, and then she was gone. Off into the hands of waiting technicians, where she would be dressed in a jumpsuit and given one final medical check.
#
The new shuttles could take off from almost any runway, but the bureaucrats had decided to do it at the Cape, for old times’ sake. Grandstands had been erected so select officials, the press, and family members could observe the launch. It was going to be one of the biggest media events in history. Kathy had gotten me a ticket, but I’d decided some time ago not to use it. I got back in the car and headed for home.
The Express would take her up to the starship, where they’d put her in stasis for the long one-way trip. She will sleep for 65 years. For her, only a few moments will have passed; but for me, an entire lifetime. No chance to talk again. No chance to sit together in the quiet pre-dawn moments, sipping coffee, laughing, her hand on my arm. She will awaken to a new life, but I will be dead and the stars will have stolen my sister.
#
I pulled off onto the shoulder of the road. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I fought back painful sobs. In my rearview mirror the Express rose, stretching the thread between our souls thinner and thinner and thinner.
Goodbye, Kathy. Little Sister. Sis.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...
END
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