Star reveals how his own real-life torment will help him play Garry Hobbs suicide trauma

 

EASTENDERS mechanic Garry Hobbs will try to kill himself next month.

And today we can reveal the harrowing plotline echoes actor Ricky Groves' real-life battle with depression.

In a searingly frank interview, the 36-year-old soap favourite admitted he fell into a nine-month mental abyss as his life spiralled out of control.

Ricky said: "I don't think anybody realised, even me, that I was having a bit of a nervous breakdown.

"It took me nine months to recover and it was the worst thing I've had to cope with in my life. A lot more people than you think toy with the idea of ending it when things get too much."

The demons in Ricky's life were unleashed as he struggled to cope with the demands of his job as a top chef.

By 22 he was a rising star in the kitchens of Le Manoir Aux Quat' Saisons—an exclusive Oxfordshire restaurant owned by Raymond Blanc.

Ricky said: "I was at one of the best restaurants in the country and I was determined to be one of the country's best chefs. The problem was the effort involved was killing me."

Relentless

He added: "I developed stomach ulcers, I couldn't eat, I couldn't get a decent night's sleep. It was as if I had a grey cloud hanging over my head.

"It was not so much the hours or the shouting in the kitchen that did it. It was the relentless demand for perfection, it got too much.

"In the end I found myself crying in front of my workmates. Tears were streaming down my face and all I could say was, ‘I've had enough. I'm going'.

"I felt a massive failure but I told no one how I felt—not my parents or mates. I bottled it all up and pretended I was fine. But inside I knew the truth. I was suffering from depression.

"I didn't seek any treatment for the way I was feeling. I just knew life was bad. It was time that healed me."

Once Ricky jacked in his job he slowly began to turn his life around. He explained: "Gradually I returned to the professional kitchen but I only did contract work.

"It was nine months before I got my confidence back. But I've not looked back since. It was just a case of too much too young for me." Back in charge of his own destiny, Ricky made another wise move some nine years later—and took up acting.

Amazingly, he landed his first big job in Albert Square, playing lovable rogue Garry Hobbs. Four years on, Ricky is bang in the middle of one of the soap's biggest stories.

Next month viewers will see the mechanic try to commit suicide in a fume-filled car.

His wife Lynne walks out on him after losing their baby in a fairground disaster. Already struggling to cope with the loss of baby Bobby—the tot's real dad turned out to be Ian Beale— Garry wants to end it all.

But hardman Minty comes to his rescue in the nick of time.

"It's a real body-blow for Garry," said Ricky. "He has to decide to give Lynne an emergency caesarean to save her life.

"Lynne survives but she rejects Garry and blames him for everything and their marriage falls to pieces. Garry has lost everything he loves. It's heart-breaking and I just hope I've done the part justice.

"Still, I was pleased to see in the script that Minty drags Garry out of the car, otherwise I'd be out of a job!" Although Ricky survives the drama, his co-star Elaine Lordan, who plays Lynne, does not.

Bosses gave the actress the push after a series of warnings and drink-related problems. Ricky said: "It was affecting her work and it was painful to see her going through it.

"I wish I could have been more supportive and maybe the show could have offered her help.

Lover

"But the truth is the only person who can really sort it out is Elaine...and I'm sure she will."

As well as losing his screen wife, Ricky has kissed goodbye to seeing his real-life lover on set every day.

His girlfriend of four years, Hannah Waterman, quit the soap a few months ago to concentrate on theatre work. Ricky said: "With Hannah it was almost love at first sight for me...but she needed a bit more convincing!

"Seriously though, we've been together four years now and I love her to pieces."

But while Ricky managed to pick up one of his co-stars playing randy mechanic Garry, there's one thing he couldn't grasp. The actor laughed: "I don't have a clue about cars!"

Another cast member who's had trouble with his dipstick recently is Leslie Grantham, who plays Dirty Den. Last month we told how he sent sexually explicit pictures of himself over the internet from his EastEnders dressing room.

But Ricky revealed: "He wrote to us all to apologise and he's getting on with his job. That took courage. You have to respect him for that."