Today as I was walking out of Target after much needed Target therapy the sideways sleet and ice moved in. Of course my truck was parked where I had to walk in the direction of the sleet. It felt like my face was being pelted with tiny pebbles.
Just as I shut my trunk a cart guy yelled out to me that I forgot a bag in the store.
Are you kidding me?
I had to get Marigrace out of her car seat and head back in for my bag. Walking in wasn’t so bad since the ice was now falling on my back but the walk back to my truck left me with a red and frozen face. This is the point where I wanted to cry.
I’m exhausted.
Connor and Marigrace have bad colds. They both have very reactive airways so their colds turn into barking coughs that end in puke and labored breathing. Night time is the worst so between sick kids and thunder storms sleep has eluded me.
Marigrace is much better today but it was a rough weekend. It reminded me of the first 14 months of Connor’s life and the frequent ER visits for croup and breathing difficulties that all started after he spent five days on oxygen in the hospital for RSV when he was only 10 weeks old. Fortunately we found a wonderful allergist who diagnosed him with allergies and asthma. He’s now on medication that keeps his asthma controlled but colds are still a big trigger for him. Marigrace seems to be the same way but not as severe.
I’m a nurse so I can handle most medical issues pretty well. Give me the shits and pukes, broken bones, fever, cuts, burns, and stitches but the breathing stuff makes me a nervous wreck.
For two days Marigrace breathed so fast and hard that her little chest sucked in and out. I gave her Albuterol treatments around the clock to control the wheezing which would cause her heart to beat fast. The labored breathing scares the shit out of me but I have to hide my fears from my freaked out hubby who is wanting reassurance from me that she’ll be okay.
I didn’t sleep much at all those few nights because I held her all night out of fear that her little body would poop out from working so hard to breathe. By Monday her wheezing and labored breathing had greatly improved and she was acting more like her feisty two year old self. I took her to the doctor mostly to appease my hubby. I was already doing for her all that needed to be done besides letting the cold run its course. Even though I’m a nurse my hubby wants to hear from the doctor that our baby isn’t dying. He is usually pretty calm and even keeled about things. I’m the emotional one but when it comes to our kids getting sick he freaks out.
I can’t blame him though. He lost his parents when he was a teen and we have had more than our share of scares with Connor’s asthma. The worst was when I was in the hospital after giving birth to Marigrace. My hubby called around midnight to let me know that Connor was having bronchospasms and inquiring how to mix his Albuterol in the nebulizer. An hour later he called frantic that Connor was not getting relief from the treatment, steam, or cold air. The poor man has spent so many nights driving our son around with the windows down or sleeping on the deck in the cold under a pile of blankets just to help Connor breathe.
This time he was really freaking out and upon hearing Connor’s cough through the phone I knew we had a different kind of problem on our hands. Connor had stridor and needed steroids and epinephrine. My hubby got a neighbor to stay with the girls and headed to the ER.
I felt so helpless and scared. I spoke to my hubby around 2 am when he was in the ER at the very hospital I was in. Connor was a little better but there was a possibility he would need to be admitted.
I finally dozed off until I was awakened by our pediatrician around 6 am. Turned out that Connor was admitted and he had just seen him. The sucky thing is I was being discharged that day. Fortunately the hospital discharged me but let me stay in my room until Connor was discharged which ended up being later that evening.
I don’t know why I just wrote all this. Flight of ideas I guess. If you’ve ever had a conversation with me then you know I tend to do this. Not only do I talk a lot but I start on one subject and end up on another. I always seem to have something to say.
Did I mention that all this dreary weather makes me want to eat all day?
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