TELLY makeover queens Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine know just what to wear after a lucrative day's private work—a massive grin.
For the sharp-tongued style gurus demand a whopping £30,000 for an off-screen consultation telling women What Not To Wear.
Dress it up how you like, but that's huge dosh for just:
SLAGGING off the client's fashion sense,
CHUCKING out their old clothes, then
DRAGGING them to the shops to spend even more on new ones!
And a News of the World investigation into the celebrities-for-hire racket has revealed they're not the only telly image mentors coining it.
Design expert LAURENCE LLEWELYN-BOWENcharges £10,000 to re-think a room.
Hairdresser NICKY CLARKE rakes in £2,500 for a day's exclusive attention.
Strictly Come Dancing star BRENDAN COLE waltzes off with £7,000 for one morning's tuition.
And Ready, Steady, Cook chef AINSLEY HARRIOTwants £12,000 to cook dinner at your house—but that doesn't include any food!
Clobber
A television insider told us: "Some of the sums these people charge are just silly.
"They add zeroes on the end of their fees just because they're on the box. Their punters must have more money than sense."
BBC1's Trinny, 40, and Susannah, 42, will shop just about anywhere if they price is right —they upper crust pair will even slum it at budget chain Matalan.
And telly chef Ainsley will cook bangers and mash, fish and chips—anything you want. As long as you pick up the tab.
"He doesn't insist on cooking elaborate meals," said his agent.
But despite the prices, the stars have loads of rich fans keen ton buying their expertise.
Our investigator approached Trinny and Susannah's agent Michael Foster and said she was acting for a wealthy businessman who wanted a birthday treat for his wife—a wardrobe makeover.
Foster revealed they get dozens of requests and had already completed two £30,000 bookings. The experience starts with a day-long chat about the customer's fashion mistakes, hair and body shape.
Then they raid the closets and clear out the old clobber.
Next day it's off to the shops to spend, spend, spend. Agent Foster admitted: "Trinny and Susannah are expensive—but they'll get you amazing discounts!"
And what if the client fancies a bargain basement trip to Matalan or Tesco? "No problem," said Foster's assistant Clara. For £30,000 it seems those girls will go almost anywhere! But so will our intrepid investigators.
Posing as aides to a rich Russian renovating a posh house, they ventured to Greenwich where flamboyant Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, 39, has his studio, and staff who select projects for him. We asked how much it would cost to redesign a guest bedroom.
Studio head Pia Munden said: "In the area of £10,000, plus VAT." But before we get to that stage Pia said there would have to be an initial design meeting, for £400, that the great man himself wouldn't attend!
If you want someone to dance attendance then fleet-footed Brendan Cole's your man—cashing in after partnering Natasha Kaplinsky to success in Strictly Come Dancing series and starring in the new series.
We posed as party organisers wanting to hire the 28-year-old star for a four-hour session to teach a client some moves. We were stunned when his agent told us the bill would be £7,000.
If the cheek of all that has you tearing your hair out you can always call celebrity crimper Nicky Clarke, whose clients include Liz Hurley and George Michael.
Getting an appointment at his London or Manchester salons may be tough but if you have £2,500 to spare you can hire the 45-year-old stylist for a day. "It sounds a lot," he admitted. "But when you're usually doing about 10 cuts a day at £250 a time, it's a normal rate."
Yes, Nicky will trim anything... except his prices.
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