EASTENDERS EXPOSED: I had vodka days, wine days..and I smoked dope in the evenings
SACKED EastEnders star Elaine Lordan last night sensationally confessed she has been fighting a drink and drugs nightmare.
Speaking in full shocking detail for the first time since she left the soap last month, Elaine—TV's troubled Lynne Slater— admitted: "I even hid vodka in my dressing room to polish off in secret.
"Some of the cast begged me to stop. When I got home I'd just drink more—or a couple of bottles of wine. I never took drugs at work—but I admit I'd smoke cannabis at night."
Elaine, 37, who is five months pregnant, claims she fell victim to the stresses caused by TV stardom, a wild love life and a string of outrageous off-screen scrapes.
AS shamed EastEnders star Elaine Lordan last night confessed her booze and drugs binges she sobbed: "I drank to blot out my guilty feelings."
In an exclusive interview with the News of the World, Elaine admitted she hit the bottle after cheating on her live-in lover Gerard Rooney with married BBC technician Peter Manuel.
"I was drinking too much through shame over my affair," she said.
"But the booze started to control me and I was on the verge of being an alcoholic.
"I knew I'd hit rock bottom and had to get professional counselling."
Tormented Elaine, 37, who played Slater sister Lynne, revealed how she:
GUZZLED five glasses of wine in her studio lunchbreak,
STASHED bottles of vodka in her dressing room for secret drink sessions, and
SMOKED cannabis at night in a desperate bid to cheer herself up.
Feelings
Pregnant Elaine, whose £80,000-a-year contract with the soap ended last month, admitted: "I DID get drunk at work. I'd drink at the bar for lunch. I'd have either a wine lunch or a vodka lunch.
"On my vodka days I'd get through five or six glasses.
"On my wine days I'd polish off a bottle. Sometimes more.
"I could handle the vodka. But the wine made me more drunk and would give me away.
"I got so high it made me giggly, stupid and loud. I knew I was getting tipsy but I thought I could carry it off.
"I didn't forget my lines. But I must have slurred my words although I was so drunk I didn't know.
"Some cast members asked me to stop drinking. But I carried on to drown out my feelings.
"It made me happy at first. Then the high wore off and I'd get depressed. So I'd drink even more.
"I hid quarter bottles of vodka in my dressing room.
Empties
"I'd lock myself inside and drink them in secret. Then I used to take the empties home so no one ever found them.
"But I'd only get more and more depressed and end up crying my heart out. When I got home I'd drink another couple of bottles of wine or half a bottle of vodka.
"I'd hit an all-time low when producer John Yorke called me in.
"He told me, ‘You're drinking too much. We want to keep you. Now go away and sort yourself out.'
"I was embarrassed because I thought I was in control and getting away with it, when clearly my drinking was out of control.
"Other cast members go to the bar at lunchtime. You're certainly not told that you can't. But it was me who had the problem.
"Everyone at EastEnders knew it. So did my family and friends.
"The only good thing you can say is that I wasn't an aggressive drinker. I was either high or tearful.
"I never took drugs at work, though. But I admit I have had the odd joint of cannabis at night which made me giggly. Had I come clean about my affair from the outset, things would have been different. But I turned to drink so I didn't have to think of the hurt I was causing Pete's wife and children.
"The drinking was affecting my work. And when I looked in the mirror and saw my puffy eyes I told myself, ‘You are a very sad person.'
"When John Yorke told me I'd have to take time off the show to sort myself out, it was a big wake-up call. The booze was starting to take over and if I'd carried on I'd have become an alcoholic.
"I needed help. And fortunately I went to see a therapist. We didn't focus on the drinking. We focused on what was making me unhappy. Apart from the problems with Pete, my dad is suffering from the very cruel disease PSP, which Dudley Moore died of, and it's caused a lot of worry and stress.
"I found it very useful talking through my troubles and it helped me tackle the drink.
"I'm still seeing the therapist now but only have the odd glass of wine."
Elaine's relentless boozing has sparked a string of embarrassing off-screen dramas.
In July 2001 she was nicked for drink-driving after downing vodka at work. She admits she later lied about what happened that night because she did not want anybody to find out she was with lover Peter, who later left his wife and three children to be with her.
Then there was the bust-up at the Arsenal Premiership parade this summer, when Elaine, wearing a jester's hat, was accused of dropping beer on a baby and getting into a furious four-letter row with the tot's angry mum.
Talking about her shameful drink-driving arrest for the first time, she revealed: "I'd drunk four vodkas in my dressing room when Peter left to go home.
Stupid
"About 10 minutes later he phoned me in a bit of a state to say he'd crashed his car into a barrier and it was a write-off.
"I went, ‘Oh my God' and jumped in my car to help him.
"It was a very stupid thing to do but I knew he was hurt and I panicked. We'd just pushed his Renault off the road and were walking back to my Audi when a police car pulled over.
"Pete lied and said, ‘It's not my car. It's got nothing to do with me.' He then gave them a false name.
"But the police asked Pete to turn out his pockets. And they found a key that fitted the car. I just thought, ‘You idiot.'
"They breathalysed Pete and he came up clean. Then they breathalysed me and I was over the limit. I just felt, ‘Beam me up, Scotty!'
"I was arrested and had a very uncomfortable journey with a load of road cones in the back of the police car. I was taken to Borehamwood police station, where I was breathalysed again and locked up.
"I was hysterical and crying as they led me into the cell, which just had a bed and a stinky toilet.
"They took my belt off me in case I tried to hang myself.
Tears
"And as they banged the door shut, I suffered a panic attack and shouted out through the little hole to the desk sergeant, ‘Please, please let me out!'
"Half an hour later they allowed Pete into the cell.
"I broke down in tears as he gave me a huge hug. I had never been in a police cell in my life. It's not something I ever want to experience again. I couldn't believe I'd been so daft.
"I'm deeply ashamed I now have a criminal record for drink-driving and I've got to live with that. There's absolutely no excuse for it."
With her baby due in the New Year Elaine last night insisted: "I AM now in control of my drinking. It is NOT in control of me any more."
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